Gerald D'Cunha

I f I bump into some of my bright school-mates, today, and if I tell them that I teach, here in Mumbai, college students – I help them in Personality Development and blog every day… publish books and all that – I am sure, they will raise their eye-brows! “You teach college students?”… They wouldn’t be able to believe it… for, they knew how mediocre I was as a student, particularly in school and junior college… “You help them in Personality Development? You blog daily… publish books?”… They are justified in asking these questions… for, they knew how shy and timid I was when I was a young boy… how miserably I suffered from inferiority complex! So, this 58-year-old man – who, as a boy, had everything going wrong for him – has no business to be in the business of helping weak students and students who suffer from low self-esteem? Probably, if I was not handicapped with my own growth issues, I would have landed up somewhere else in life… I really do not know whe...

M y son has come home, for some days, on his Diwali vacation. My wife and I were having a long discussion with him this evening. This is a young generation – let me call it ‘tribe’… and, so, talking to the tribe of my son is a priceless education in itself. For over three hours, we were discussing about so many things in life… particularly about making changes and reinventing ourselves in life. Well, my son is twenty-four and I am fifty-eight. Yes, I am his father and he is my son… Thus, while having discussion, it is easy for me to slip into that position and try to tell him, “Look son, I have been there, seen that and done that… So, you better listen to me.” Good God, the tribe of my son is wired to think clearly. You end up getting this, quickly, “Sit down dad, there is something that I need to tell you… It is better for you if you listen.” Is it really better? Let me tell you, just sitting before this tribe and listening to them, without a pre-conce...

“A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.” ~Author Unknown I was waiting for my turn, yesterday, in the waiting room of my doctor’s clinic. I had gone there for my routine check-up. To be precise, to see – after making some conscious life-style changes… early morning walks, stretching and pranayama… early dinner… cutting down on non-veg consumption etc and doing away with each and every medicine – yes, after making these conscious changes I wanted to check if there was a significant improvement in my BP, pulse rate, sugar and anxiety levels and, above all, if there was a reduction in my weight – the belly fat! My doctor was thrilled! He declared: “First class… Excellent!!” Well, I wanted to hear that, honestly. I wanted to see if the conscious changes that we bring about – all of them are within our own control and small and simple changes they are – could help us feel great about our inner well-being… Yes, I could see that dir...

O ne of the most precious privileges showered upon me by God is the privilege of becoming a teacher. Nothing else beats this… nothing else can replace this. Like millions of teachers all over the world know it, I, too, know that being there in a class room, day after day, week after week, month after month and year after year – yes, being there in the class room and impacting the lives of our students is unique about our profession. Our students come from different back grounds… some are from great families and some are from the broken ones… some kids are loved at home and some are abused… some have discovered their talents and callings in life… some are clueless… some are compassionate and kind and some are outright violent and volatile… And, there we are, as teachers… battling with our choices: to accept and reform our students or to condemn and give up on them… We are there before them in our class room, every day and round the year with the choices: to work for t...

“Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.”  ―  Shirley Conran S ome days ago, a dear friend of ours, who lived here in Mumbai, had been with his wife to our hometown, Mangalore, on a brief vacation. He was 62 and healthy all along. Besides, he was always adored by loads of friends. Though was not blessed with an offspring, the couple was content and done well for itself in life. Importantly, as they did not have their own children, the husband and wife, both, had helped out many of their relatives in education and  to become doctors and engineers in life…  I was, always, glad to note this side of their life story… that is: if God hasn’t given you your own children, treat someone else’s as your own… Yes, they did so… and so beautifully! Two days ago, I learnt from my sister-in-law, who lives in Mangalore, that our dear friend had succumbed to a massive heart failure. “Last night, we all met in a birthday party here… He was so ch...

“He touched me, Oh, he touched me, And oh the joy that floods my soul, Something happened and now I know He touched me and made me whole…” I have no count of the number of times I have listened to and soaked in the song – call it ‘hymn’ if you wish – by Bill and Gloria Gaither. And, every time, I listen to it, yes, ‘something happens’ to me and tears simply flow down my cheeks. Frankly, to me, it is not a Christian hymn and it is not about Jesus and how He touched my life… To me, it’s about that Jesus in disguise… the one who comes as a simple, loving soul and touches me and makes me feel ‘I am no longer the same’… Today, just after my morning walk at 6, I had this strong urge in me to listen to this song. That’s when my eyes fell on two messages of love and gratitude, both happened to be from two of my dear friends, and both happened to be on birthdays… but, from two different perspectives… D r. Deepak – to me only Deepak – had ...

F orgiving others is one of the most self-empowering, liberating and spiritual exercises available for all of us, here on this planet. Mercifully, the act of forgiving someone is totally in our hands… It doesn’t call for anyone else’s permission… It doesn’t call for even the reciprocation from the one who we wish to forgive – the one who has hurt, abused or harmed us… Yes, forgiveness is totally a private call we take to cleanse and heal our own hearts… It paves the way for peace. In every religion, forgiveness and peace assume significant importance… For us, Christians, Christ Himself demonstrated it as he battled there in pain on the cross… Just before He breathed last, Jesus looked up and prayed: “My Father, please forgive them as they do not know what they are doing.” Jesus’ words have so much meaning: Our tormentor is not aware of what he is doing… He does it in his ignorance… So, he deserves not punishment but forgiveness… mercy… A tough call for mort...

“Expect everything so that nothing comes unexpected.” - Norton Juster T rying to drop my expectations is like a dog trying to catch his own tail…. Funny, frustrating. Even stupid. We do keep expectations from people… very near and dear ones and not so near and dear ones… We keep expectations from our neighbors and authorities… We keep expatiations from strangers and even our enemies… So, whenever I find myself saying, “Let me not keep any expatiations from this person,” what exactly I am saying is: “Look, I have some expatiations from this person… and they are not being met… I am frustrated, disappointed, sad, angry… bitter, negative.” Yes, every time, I am disappointed, frustrated or angry with another person, the cause is my unmet expectations… So, the obvious belief is that, if we drop our expatiations we can remain free from disappointments and frustrations in life. Yesterday, I was at a meeting which was held in a...