THE TENDER REEDS

“I do not wish women to have power over men;

but over themselves.”

-         Mary Shelley

“Ok darling… I humbly accept them all!” I replied to my wife’s WhatsApp message. I had left home at 7.30 in the morning, today, without a clue about what day it was… except, that it was a Sunday. So, when I reached my office, I saw this reminder from an ever-faithful wife to her ever-forgetful hubby:

Match her effort,

Respect her hustle,

Support her ambition,

Protect her heart,

Value her loyalty,

Uplift her spirit,

Love her unconditionally…

Happy Women’s Day

Jokes apart, let me look at each one of the pieces of advice in the above message…

Do I match her effort?

If I say “Yes,” she will say “No” … So, I say “Okay”!

Do I respect her hustle?

Honestly, not enough… Far from enough!

Do I support her ambition?

Well “Yes” and “No” … Feel a lot guilty about it, though I have not told her this sincerely!

Do I protect her heart?

I may think I do; but, she doesn’t… and, I think, she is right: How can it be (to protect her heart) when I haven’t passed the other tests fully?

Do I value her loyalty?

“Yes, yes, yes!” I say this even if she doesn’t agree with it. But, she knows I do… I am confident about it!

Do I uplift her spirit?

Sometimes I do… Sometimes I don’t… especially, when it’s needed to be done the most. But, then, that makes me a perfectly imperfect hubby, you see. Hope, it’s not a justification… Instead, an earnest admission!

And, the final one – the tallest order, I guess: Do I love her unconditionally?

It’s better left unanswered… It’s a tough one, very, very ‘other-worldly’!

Many years ago, Srikar and his wife Rekha, were my students and they were madly in love with each other. Today, after many years of their marriage, I consider them to be a very loving and adorable couple. They have a young girl child, who is being raised with all the love and tender care. Srikar hailed from a Mangalorean GSB community and spoke Konkani at home. Rekha hailed from a Tamilian family and spoke Tamil at home. This evening I shared with Srikar a hilarious and heart-warming audio in GSB Konkani. I also asked him, if Rekha knew Konkani. “Yes Sir, she does speak Konkani fairly well now. In fact, (on a lighter note) that was one of my pre-nuptial conditions!”

“Then play to her this audio,” I wrote back, “She will enjoy this.”

Srikar and Rekha, my wife and I – and, most of us who have loved, been tested  and lasted for many, many moons (not just the honeymoons, Sir), know, deep in our hearts, that no contract can ‘protect’ a marriage, except that ‘hunger and endless aching need’ called LOVE, as Bette Midler sings in her beautiful song ‘The Rose’… Here is that beautiful song for the beautiful women in our lives…

THE ROSE

Bette Midler

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Some say love, it is a river

That drowns the tender reed
Some say love, it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed
Some say love, it is a hunger
An endless aching need
I say love, it is a flower
And you, its only seed
It's the heart, afraid of breaking

That never learns to dance
It's the dream, afraid of waking
That never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul, afraid of dying
That never learns to live
When the night has been too lonely

And the road has been too long
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snows
Lies the seed that with the sun's love
In the spring becomes the rose

Well, I hope this song is about ‘Love’… and not about ‘Romance’…

So, may it reach all the wonderful women, who, like the tender reeds, get drowned in the river called ‘Love’…

GERALD D’CUNHA

Pic.: www.dreamstime.com

Video: Bette Midler/Lennie72