TODAY WAS PARENTS' DAY
"It’s
a sad moment, really, when parents
first
become a bit frightened of their children.”
Ama
Ata Aidoo
In
Life, the right time to learn ‘acceptance’ is when we are born itself. The
reason is simple: We have no choice about our birth and parents!
Choices come
about later, much later. Being born to ‘wonderful parents’ is purely a
privilege. But, what do I mean by ‘wonderful
parents’? Am I referring to their education, economic and social status? Or, am
I referring to their behaviour, values, culture, quality of their marriage, outlook
towards family and society etc.?
Yes, we inherit a
lot of things from our parents… including our shyness and confidence. As I
said, having wonderful parents is purely a privilege in Life. However, unless
we show, that we are worthy of this privilege, it won’t take us far. In fact,
it can prove counterproductive. On the other hand, those of us, who are
deprived of this privilege, are not condemned to hell-fire… Far from it. Often,
some of the finest men and women come from such less-privileged situation.
Let’s face it: after
a certain stage in life, it’s left to us to make Life a blessing or a curse. We
clearly have a choice, once we are out of our nests…
Here
are some situations of privilege or deprivation which each of us may have lived
through:
My
parents were not educated…
My
parents were educated…
My
parents were financially weak…
My
parents were financially strong…
My
parents had a strong/stable marriage…
My
parents had a weak/unstable marriage…
I
was raised by a single parent…
I
was adopted…
I
was raised by a step parent…
I
was raised by a foster parent…
I
was raised in an orphanage…
My
parents seldom indulged in physical violence…
My
parents indulged in frequent physical violence…
I
was seldom physically assaulted by my parents…
I
was regularly assaulted by my parents…
I
was sexually abused by my parents…
My
parents were very religious (Pious)…
My
parents were open-minded and less conservative…
My
parents were narrow-minded and very conservative…
My
parents respected and cared for their parents…
My
parents abused/neglected their parents…
My
parents had a loving relationship with their siblings…
My
parents had a disturbing relationship with their siblings…
My
parents laid great emphasis on education…
My
parents laid less/no emphasis on education…
My
parents inculcated values in their children…
My
parents were very competitive and pushed their children…
My
parents were least competitive and never pushed their children…
My
parents were highly critical of their children’s behaviour…
My
parents were less critical and chose to correct our behaviour…
My
parents had a strong sense of inner security…
My
parents had an acute sense of inner insecurity…
My
parents were optimistic and hopeful…
My
parents were pessimistic and hopeless…
My
parents rejoiced in others’ success…
My
parents envied in others’ success…
My
parents tried to live their unfulfilled dreams through us…
My
parents let us fulfill our own dreams…
I
learnt patience, tolerance, forgiveness, cooperation, empathy,
sacrifice
from my parents…
My
parents had high degree of social prejudice…
My
parents had least degree of social prejudice…
My
parents showed off…
My
parents were modest…
Whichever
situations we may have lived through – we had to accept them without any
choice. But, then, as Kahlil Gibran reminds the parents:
“Your children
are not your children;
they are sons
and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come
through you, but not from you.
And, though they
are with you, yet they belong not to you…
“You may house
their bodies, but not their souls;
For, their souls
dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot
visit, not even in your dreams.”
Today
was Parents’ Day… The day is almost over!
GERALD D’CUNHA
Pic's: pixabay
Video: Kommune India/Hari Shankar
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