25 PUSH-UPS FOR 25 DAYS

 

“Every man has his secret sorrows

which the world knows not;

and, often times, we call a man cold

when he is only sad.”

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Whenever people start participating in an online challenge – such as the recent ‘Couple Challenge’, ‘Daughter Challenge’, ‘Son Challenge’, ‘Saree Challenge’, etc. – I look at some of them and smile, or simply let them pass by. Rarely, I try to ridicule them. Yes, they may seem to some of us as shallow or cosmetic; but, if they make the rest of us feel a little lighter and alive, why don’t we just let them be?

Personally, I don’t believe in either inviting someone to accept any such challenge or in accepting anyone’s invitation. Life throws fresh challenges everyday; and, therefore, I don’t need more of them to prove how strong or powerful – or even how happy and playful – I am. So, let all those social-media challenges be… Let people participate and feel happy, or make fun of them and feel happy…

My Post, today, is in appreciation of a ‘meaningful challenge’. I saw Sushma, my friend (who was my student some thirty years ago), participating in this unique challenge … She had captioned it as “25 Push-ups Challenge’, with the sub-text: “25 push-ups for 25 days to raise awareness about mental health, anxiety and depression. Thank you Aruna Sharma for nominating me… Glad I could take it up.”

When I first saw Sushma’s 25-pushups videos, I did not take them seriously. But, as I saw those videos, late every night – Day-15. Day-18, Day-22 and so on, I paused and told myself: “Let me see what’s happening here.”

Thus, on Day-23 video, I felt inside my gut, that Sushma had taken it up for a strong reason, and that reason must be very personal. Instantly, I wrote in the comment section: “What a determination… What a cause!” Besides, I sent this private message to her: “Hello Sushma, I have been delightfully and quietly keeping myself updated about your push-up challenge to raise awareness on mental health, anxiety and depression. Apologies for not commenting on your videos earlier. But, sending this message to convey my genuine admiration and appreciation for doing it with such commitment…Only two more days left… I am cheering for you – ‘Come on Sushma, come on'!”

Last night, I called up Sushma to find out the ‘reason’…

Sushma was very candid and honest. She said:

“Sir, about two years ago, my daughter, who was then pursuing her final-year degree, went through a serious phase of depression. She is our only child and very brilliant and adorable in every respect. She would come home and share with me and my husband every thing that she would face or do outside… She never let us down and, we were very proud of being her parents. Then, there was a certain incident which happened with her friends… As she always did, she confided with me about this one, too. But, I wasn’t prepared to handle it with maturity… I reacted very, very harshly to her. And, that broke her fragile shield, and, she went through a certain period of depression. I realized my mistake… But, the damage had already been done.

We sought help for our daughter's mental health. She was put on medication and counselling therapy for months… Eventually, she was able to come out of it. The traces of sadness, anxiety and fear have not completely vanished… But, she has come out through this dark experience as a stronger person. She is presently working in a good firm, and is able to face life with greater strength. It has, also, brought her closer to us… We have forgiven each other and healed our wounds.

So, when my friend, Aruna, asked me to take up this 25-pushups challenge for 25 days, I thought, that it was an opportunity to open up about our struggle and help other parents to be more careful while dealing with their young ones. I wanted people to speak about the mental issues and seek timely help.”

Today is the Day-25. Sushma has just posted her last video... I have taken her permission, last night, to share her and her daughter’s story…

Did I say ‘Their story’? Or, did I say ‘Our Story’?

Mental health does not exclude any of us… We may go around wearing our macho-masks. But, we alone know how fragile we all are… The more we accept this truth, the better our mental health will be. C. S. Lewis said, “It is easier to say ‘My tooth is aching’ than ‘My heart is broken.”

Yes. we all have these dark moments inside all of us - me, you and everyone. Depression, in simple words, is this dark patch of seemingly hopeless, anxious and lonely moments. As Laurell K. Hemilton said, “They are the wounds that never show on our body, but are more deeper and hurtful than anything that bleeds.”

Let me conclude: Sushma’s ‘25-pushups-for-25-days’ is not the cure for depression. It is her way of telling us: “It’s a challenge, that, if accepted, can make us finer, stronger and kinder humans.”

 

GERALD D’CUNHA

 

Pic's pixabay.:

 

Videos: Sushma Punjabi