YOU HAVE PLAYED IT ENOUGH
“Half of life is lost
in
charming others.
The
other half is lost
in
going through anxieties
caused
by others.
Leave
this play.
You
have played enough.”
Rumi.
Trying
to please others is akin to handing the remote of our personal peace in others’
hands. The need to please others stems from another innate need: to seek other people’s
approval – their validation.
Yes, it’s a
human need… Hence, ordinary people like you, me and others crave to see Likes,
Loves, Wows and generous comments on every single line we post or every single
picture we share on social media – we justify it saying, “What’s wrong with it?
We are humans, after all!”
Rumi and other wise
souls, for hundreds of years, have drawn our attention to this human craving. Excess
attachment to other people’s approval and validation only undermines our own
self-confidence… Beyond a certain point, it not only drains us, it, also, hurts
us very badly.
What other
people think of us should never be more important than what we think of
ourselves. It’s not being egoistic… It’s, in fact, being able to tame our own
egoes, which crave to be massaged by others’ validation. Let’s remember this: People
who care for us do provide us honest feedbacks… And, to lead a peaceful life,
that much is enough. The illusionary edifice raised on all-and-sundries’
approval ratings, is so fragile and vulnerable, that it simply crumbles with a
slight harsh-wind!
Therefore, the journey
to our personal peace begins with getting in touch with our human weakness –
which we nicely cloak as ‘human need’: detaching ourselves from other’s
validation.
Tough?
Yes.
Tough because
you, me and others around us – none of us live in hermitage. We are surrounded by
real people and not monks. Therefore, to detach ourselves from the approvals
and validations of people around us seems tough.
But, what about
this: Are we able to see the link between our excessive dependence on others’
approvals and validations and our deep anxieties?
If we are able
to see it, I think, we are, also, able to understand what Rumi says in his
message:
“Half
of life is lost
in
charming others.
The
other half is lost
in
going through anxieties
caused
by others.
Leave
this play.
You
have played enough.”
GERALD D’CUNHA
Pic.: pixabay
Video: Dare to do Motivation
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