YOU HAVE PLAYED IT ENOUGH

 

“Half of life is lost

in charming others.

The other half is lost

in going through anxieties

caused by others.

 

Leave this play.

You have played enough.”

Rumi.

Trying to please others is akin to handing the remote of our personal peace in others’ hands. The need to please others stems from another innate need: to seek other people’s approval – their validation.

Yes, it’s a human need… Hence, ordinary people like you, me and others crave to see Likes, Loves, Wows and generous comments on every single line we post or every single picture we share on social media – we justify it saying, “What’s wrong with it? We are humans, after all!”

Rumi and other wise souls, for hundreds of years, have drawn our attention to this human craving. Excess attachment to other people’s approval and validation only undermines our own self-confidence… Beyond a certain point, it not only drains us, it, also, hurts us very badly.

What other people think of us should never be more important than what we think of ourselves. It’s not being egoistic… It’s, in fact, being able to tame our own egoes, which crave to be massaged by others’ validation. Let’s remember this: People who care for us do provide us honest feedbacks… And, to lead a peaceful life, that much is enough. The illusionary edifice raised on all-and-sundries’ approval ratings, is so fragile and vulnerable, that it simply crumbles with a slight harsh-wind!

Therefore, the journey to our personal peace begins with getting in touch with our human weakness – which we nicely cloak as ‘human need’: detaching ourselves from other’s validation.

Tough?

Yes.

Tough because you, me and others around us – none of us live in hermitage. We are surrounded by real people and not monks. Therefore, to detach ourselves from the approvals and validations of people around us seems tough.

But, what about this: Are we able to see the link between our excessive dependence on others’ approvals and validations and our deep anxieties?

If we are able to see it, I think, we are, also, able to understand what Rumi says in his message:

“Half of life is lost

in charming others.

The other half is lost

in going through anxieties

caused by others.

 

Leave this play.

You have played enough.”

 

GERALD D’CUNHA

 

Pic.: pixabay

 

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