THE OPTIONS

I am at it again. Talking about the tough times: the collapse of financial system, world over, and, its bloody aftermath.

Just yesterday, I had posted my article -- "Who Insured AIG?" -- touching upon this subject. Yes, the subject of 'security' in life. And, today, when I read the report of bloodbath at Los Angeles, I thought I must delve into the subject, once again.

Who knows, what may trigger off my tomorrow's post?

Karthik Rajaram. How familiar the name sounds! And, how familiar his reaction to his tough times!

An extreme reaction?

Perhaps, yes. For, there were other options for him.

Perhaps, no. For, that's the only option, his mind - completely overtaken by fear - could see. At that point of time.

Karthik chose to shoot dead his wife, his mother-in-law and all three of his children, and ,finally, himself.

At, one go, his entire family perished ... His tough times ended!

In his suicide notes, Karthik talks about the two options he had before him: either to kill himself alone, or to kill all of them. He claims that he chose the latter.

But, were there only those two options?

Any one, who has gone through extreme tough times, can tell you as to why it is tough, almost impossible, to think clearly, when mind is all clouded up. The fog of anxiety, fear, shame and guilt makes you blind to all those options, makes you think like a frightened rabbit and run from the clutches of a wolf only to be into the mouth of a lion, directly.

Panic overtakes most of us. I have been in such situations many times before. In times like those, you feel extremely lonely and hopeless ... You find it difficult to see through the 'fog' of anxiety and fear. And, some of us, do take steps as Karthik did.

I said, "Some of us".

And, that's the 'saving grace'; that's the hope ... and, that's the delicate string upon which hangs that robust something called 'zest for life'. Yes, on what else?

True, we do have a hundred 'choices'. But, we need that intangible something called 'divine grace' to, even, 'choose from those choices'.

That was, perhaps, the reason, why Karthik's story ended that way. People with problems, a thousand times graver than his, have survived ... and there are millions of them around us to tell us the saga of their remarkable grit. Still, it is not the magnitude of the tragedy that stikes you, nor the array of choices laid before you ... But, it is simply that 'something' that saves you ... at that 'crucial' moment.

About you, I do not know. But, each morning when I wake up, this little prayer pops naturally in my heart:

"Lord, thank you for guarding me through the night;
Please guard me through this day, too ...
Please have mercy on me."

Love,

GERALD D'CUNHA

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