Friday, November 16, 2012

FRESHLY FALLING IN LOVE...















 



“You can't judge people and touch their souls at the same time.”




Often, I wonder: Why do I judge others? Where is my judging behavior coming from?


Yes, it is extremely difficult to judge another person and love him at the same time…


It is extremely difficult to judge him and listen, truly, at the same time…


It is extremely difficult to judge him and touch his soul at the same time!


I wonder, therefore: Why do I judge him, then?



I was talking to an elderly gentleman, this morning, on this subject. And, because I admire this person immensely, I found myself listening to him with rapt attention… I noticed that I had completely suspended my judgment… Acceptance was just happening, so naturally… I had no defenses to throw, no points to prove… Nor did I sense any threat from the other person, who, at this point of time had humbled me, made me teachable. 


“Have you observed how two people treat each other when they freshly fall in love?” He asked me. “That is the time, when their trust and acceptance levels are at their peak; they simply accept each other… they choose to see the goodness in each other, and they literally celebrate this goodness.” He continued, “As the entire focus is on touching the hearts, they consciously stay away from anything that comes on its way. The moment, this focus shifts, they begin to overplay the flaws in each other… become extremely judgmental, critical and, finally, slump into the familiar hole: the communication break-down!”


I could immediately relate to what this person was trying to tell me.


When a new friend comes into our life…


When a new neighbor moves into our next flat…


When we meet  a new family or a group in  train, bus or airplane during our long-distance tours…


When we make a new client…


When a baby is just born into our family…


When a new bride or a groom enters our families… 


When they bring into our lives new relatives…


So, when our focus is to touch each-other’s souls, we choose to see the goodness of the other person, celebrate it… Feel glad, elated and safe in each-other’s company. That’s why, it seems, that to drop our judgmental ways, we should be able to genuinely rejoice in other person’s success and happiness and feel equally concerned in his failure and sorrow. 


I think, that’s what the gentleman, this morning, trying to tell me when he had said: “Have you observed how two people treat each other when they freshly fall in love?”


Perhaps, that’s the only time, we all truly believe that we too have our human flaws… and, that someone has consciously chosen to downplay it… so that he or she could sing glory on our goodness!













Yes, probably, the secret lies in 


falling freshly in love with each other… 


with Life… again and again… 


and, all over again!



Yes sir, agreed: “We can not Love someone and Judge him, at the same time!”




GERALD D’CUNHA

Pics.: Manoj Nair








7 comments:

Tripti Rai said...

I loved the title: 'Freshly falling in love'! Tripti

priya ram said...

very nice post Sir, thanks. Would like to add, we can love and accept each other without judging, only if we see the common factor, in all and that is God in all. So to love all, we have to perceive the all good God in all, then loving each other becomes easy.

Just my thought. Your posts are enlightening and thought provoking. Thanks a lot.

Regards,
priya ram

Gerald D'Cunha said...

Yes Priya. You have put things in perspective... the common factor IS the common key with which we can unlock the door to Love! Thanks a lot. Do help me.

Love.

Anonymous said...

Lot to gain from this post. Thanx. Ravish

Vijeta Shetty said...

Very, very inspiring. Thanks. Vijeta

Ashish Srivastava said...

True....
So so true!
Lovely piece.
Connects straight to heart and so simple to understand.
Yet we get into judgemental trap every step in our life.

Gerald D'Cunha said...

Thanks Ashish, Glad. Love.