FRESHLY FALLING IN LOVE...
“You can't judge people and touch their
souls at the same time.”
Often,
I wonder: Why do I judge others? Where is my judging behavior coming from?
Yes, it is extremely difficult to judge another person and love him at
the same time…
It is extremely difficult to judge him and listen, truly, at the same
time…
It is extremely difficult to judge him and touch his soul at the same
time!
I wonder, therefore: Why do I judge him, then?
I was talking to an elderly gentleman, this morning, on this subject. And, because I
admire this person immensely, I found myself listening to him with rapt
attention… I noticed that I had completely suspended my judgment… Acceptance
was just happening, so naturally… I had no defenses to throw, no points to
prove… Nor did I sense any threat from the other person, who, at this point of
time had humbled me, made me teachable.
“Have you observed how two people treat each other when they freshly fall in
love?” He asked me. “That is the time, when their trust and acceptance levels are
at their peak; they simply accept each other… they choose to see the goodness in
each other, and they literally celebrate this goodness.” He continued, “As the
entire focus is on touching the hearts, they consciously stay away from anything
that comes on its way. The moment, this focus shifts, they begin to overplay the
flaws in each other… become extremely judgmental, critical and, finally, slump
into the familiar hole: the communication break-down!”
I could immediately relate to what this person was trying to tell me.
When a new friend comes into our life…
When a new neighbor moves into our next flat…
When we meet a new family or a group in train, bus or airplane
during our long-distance tours…
When we make a new client…
When a baby is just born into our family…
When a new bride or a groom enters our families…
When they bring into our lives new relatives…
So,
when our focus is to touch each-other’s souls, we choose to see the goodness of
the other person, celebrate it… Feel glad, elated and safe in each-other’s
company. That’s why, it seems, that to drop our judgmental ways, we should be
able to genuinely rejoice in other person’s success and happiness and feel
equally concerned in his failure and sorrow.
I think, that’s what the gentleman, this morning, trying to tell me when he
had said: “Have you observed how two people treat each other when they freshly fall in
love?”
Perhaps, that’s the only time, we all truly believe that we too have
our human flaws… and, that someone has consciously chosen to downplay it… so
that he or she could sing glory on our goodness!
Yes, probably, the secret lies in
falling freshly in love with each
other…
with Life… again and again…
and, all over again!
Yes sir, agreed: “We can not Love someone and Judge him, at the same
time!”
GERALD D’CUNHA
Pics.: Manoj Nair
Comments
Just my thought. Your posts are enlightening and thought provoking. Thanks a lot.
Regards,
priya ram
Love.
So so true!
Lovely piece.
Connects straight to heart and so simple to understand.
Yet we get into judgemental trap every step in our life.