Thursday, November 15, 2012


When another person has hurt me in the past, he has hurt me in the past! 

What causes pain in my heart, even now, is my unwillingness to forgive him!

Who is supposed to heal my wounds? The other person? 

He never comes… as long as I like to hold on to my past!

When I am stuck in the past, it is difficult to notice the other person who has come to reconcile, mend, heal…

And, even if the other person has not come forward to reconcile, mend relationship and heal my wounds, it is still in my own hands as to how to deal with the situation: I can wait for years on, for the other person to come and heal me… or, I can heal, right now, my own wounds.

The other person, always, operates from his level of awareness, at the given point of time… as I myself do from mine. When I cause him hurt, I do it from my own state of ignorance. If I knew I was hurting another person, I would have abstained from doing so. 

Now, the person, who is hurt, can argue: “No, you knew you were hurting me; you have hurt me, purposely!”

That’s not possible. That’s not true…

We need to believe that.

Nobody likes to purposely hurt another person… Just as nobody likes to, purposely, kick on a hard rock. He knows how badly his foot hurts! So, if at all he ends up kicking a hard rock, take it from me: he does it out of his ignorance… when his thinking is clouded!

Whenever I think this way, it becomes easy for me to forgive the other person, every time he ‘kicks me’, hurts me … Yes, it becomes easy for me to see him with empathy, to drop my grudge, and, thereby, to facilitate the healing process. 

The more I keep justifying 

that the other person had hurt me purposely, 

the harder it becomes to empathize with him, 

reconcile with him… trust him 

and come close to him. 

My wounds remain open, unhealed!

It is impossible to relish the closeness, and feel the glory of the present moment as long as we have not made peace with our pasts. It is impossible to get healed by another until we find with in our souls the capacity to heal ourselves. Yes, like other animals, man, too, needs to learn how to lick his own wounds!

It is about healing our own wounds, after all…

So, it is for our own good!

The early we understand it, the better for us!

The other day, someone had sent this Good-night message to me:

“As long as we don’t forgive people who have hurt us,
 they occupy a rent-free space in our mind.”

The more I reflect on it, the lighter I feel.


Pics.: Supriya Chavan

1 comment:

Sheela Raman said...

Lovely perspective, dear Gerry. Useful. Thank you. Sheela