HOW DO THE GOALS AND DREAMS COME?

April 19, 2013

When I am hungry, I look for food; when I am thirsty, I look for water.

Therefore, I can conclude: What motivates me to go and look for food and water are my hunger and thirst inside.

The problem always arises when someone ‘forces’ me to take food though I am not hungry and when he insists that I drink water though I am not thirsty.

And, what applies to me also applies to him. He will refuse to eat when he is not hungry; he will refuse to drink when he is not thirsty… My force won’t work. No.

Many parents meet me or call me and complain: “Sir, why doesn’t my child do any work at home? Don’t you give him homework?”

“I do,” I tell them, “But, he doesn’t do.”

“No, no. Sir, be strict with him,” they react, “scold him, punish him… whack him… Think he is your own son. Please feel free.”

I laugh.

These are smart kids… They come from wonderful families, go to the best schools, they carry a strong head over their shoulders and a sweet heart inside their bosoms. “Relax ma’am, relax sir,” I console the anxious parents, “it doesn’t work that way.”

“Then, in what way does it work?” they want to know.

I laugh again and tell them, “Just the way it works with a horse… The way you make him drink water from the pond.”

Well, my analogy is as ancient as the Mahabharat! The parents have heard it enough, used it enough… and, now, when they hear it again from me, I sense the resistance. “Tell me something new… Something as modern as these young cyber-kids are,” I hear they murmur me in their minds.

I laugh all over again. These kids have to be hungry and thirsty inside… I know it for sure. As a parent and as a teacher, there is only so much one can do… yes, despite all the charm, tact or methods at our disposal... One can only take the horse to the pond. But, then, the horse will drink not because I want him to drink, not because I am thirsty… He will drink because he wants to, because he is thirsty.

So, as teachers, parents and well-wishers, we should see how we can ignite this thirst in our young-horses. If we succeed, it is good… Otherwise, we have to wait… Keep on trying…cajoling.

“Motivation is always linked to our goals, our dreams,” I not only tell this to parents but to every one around me. I add, “When goals and dreams come, the motivation comes automatically. Nobody needs to remind you, coax you or cajole you… least of all, no one needs to force you, hold a gun on your head… You are self-motivated, self-driven.”