THE HELICOPTER PARENTS

Last evening, during the PD session, a twelfth-standard student was speaking on the topic: “Growing up as only child or growning up with siblings – My stand”.

 

The young-boy had a wonderful younger-sister and, was quick in taking his stand: Growing up with siblings was a heavenly experience for him. So, he shared with us that… It was really touching.

But, what touched me most was the line that he unwittingly coined before us. “My dad is a sailor and for a major part of the year is away from us. So, our mom has to play the role of our dad too,” he told us, “but, she has never been a ‘Helicopter Parent’!

I loved that phrase – ‘Helicopter Parent’. 

“Do you all know what a ‘Helicopter Parent’ means?” I asked the class, “Have you heard it before?”

“No sir,” was the answer.

“Where did you find it, dear?” I asked the young-man.

“Sir, in our Psychology text book,” the boy, who was in an ISE Board said. 

“Can you tell others what you have understood by that catchy phrase?” I prodded the young-man.

“Sure sir, I can,” the boy went on to tell us this.

“We never like our parents to interfere in our growth too much… We need their love and care; we need their guidance and support. We need their firmness and rules to obey. But, along with all that, we need them to trust us, hand small responsibilities to us… We don’t want them to poke too much into our activities, our friends, our interests and hobbies… We don’t want them to phone too often our teachers, friends or their parents… Worst, spy on us, crib too much… remind us too much… compare us with X, Y and Z around… We want them to leave us alone, once they empower us… and not hover over our heads, all the time, everywhere, like a Helicopter… You see…”

“Do you all agree with what your friend, here, says?” I asked others.

“YES sir!!!!” the roof came down!

I had to agree, too… 

For, when I was their age, I never liked my parents – even in our remote village – to be Helicopters over my head…

For, our only son, who is going to be 21 this year, too, hates Helicopters over his head…

So, if, as a young-man, I did not like Helicopters over my head… if, as a young-man, my son doesn’t like them over his head… and, if all young-ones around us do not like Helicopters over their head, too… Yes, then, why should or why would  any one  like them?

It doesn’t call for some heavy psychology to understand this stuff… This basic lesson in parenting.

GERALD D’CUNHA

Pic.: Suman Dhing