THE NEED TO PROVE MYSELF RIGHT

















The need to prove oneself right comes from one’s low self-esteem. 


I am excluding, here, the politicians, who debate on the lines of their respective party-ideologies and alliances. 


I am talking, here, about you and me… who, often, tend to prove how and why we are right …


Well, I will still narrow it down to myself: How and why, often, I tend to prove I am right…


If my urge is to prove myself right making the other person feel wrong or stupid, it will not leave in my heart a pleasant experience… 


Arguments come from such inner need… 


So, before I embark upon any such trip, I have a choice to make: Will the experience make me feel good or bad about myself…


Any assertive behavior of mine, which comes from my healthy self-esteem, has to make me feel good about myself… after I have behaved in that manner…


On the other hand, any submissive or aggressive behavior of mine, which comes from my low self-esteem, has to make me feel bad about myself… yes, after I have behaved in that manner.


When others try, desperately, to prove they are right, all that is needed from my end is not to walk into the trap laid by them…


All that is needed is the simple wisdom to recognize the trap… and, accordingly, leave the person alone with his trap…




If he is hell-bent in providing he is right, 


he will go all the way to do that… 




And, my experience has been this: If he is truly right, he will not have in him the need to prove it… So, he does it out of his fear, distrust and insecurities, which are the off-shoots of his low self-esteem…


Righteousness is, always, lived… It is the glow of my being… The moment I try to show it to others, prove it… my miseries will follow me…


Therefore, suffice it to be right within… That would, also, help me deal with those who try to force upon me their righteousness…


And, stay off the ‘trap’.



GERALD D’CUNHA

Pic.: Gloria Pinto



Comments

Kiran Ranade said…
True sir. trap, in deed... Kiran
July 30, 2013 at 12:49 PM
Pallavi Gupta said…
A very commonplace experience and you have beautifully captured it in your article. Thanks you for inspiring Gerry sir.
-- Pallavi
July 30, 2013 at 1:16 PM
Anonymous said…
Very reassuring post, as always. keep writing....... Neena Shah
July 30, 2013 at 6:44 PM
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