THE ART OF MANAGING DISAGREEMENTS

















Pic.: Bhushan Thakkar
One of the most valuable lessons I have learnt in my life – rather, I am still learning – is: the art of managing disagreements.


In fact, a genuine realization that another person around me can have – and, often, does have - another view point, itself, is a very fine lesson. From this very first realization stems the rest of my wisdom: 

That, the other person has the right to voice his view, his disagreement, and, I must be confident and graceful enough to respect his view… discuss it out… and, strive for a consensus;

That, when there is disagreement, it is only a disagreement… and, there is nothing personal about it;

That, it is an opportunity for me to be a strong, sensitive and accommodating person, and, thereby, to enhance my self-confidence and leadership skills;

That, if the other person is weak and takes things personally, I must learn not to get into the ‘trap’ and play the same game;

That, by learning to respect another person’s view, and by accommodating it, I bring about more harmony within my own heart;

That, there is no area in life where I can have ‘my own way’… The way that serves ‘the larger good’ is the best way.

So, it is sensible to go about life expecting people around me to be as fairly intelligent as I am. Yes, they may not hold the same view as I do… But, then, it is perfectly okay… as long as we all learn to work out a consensus…


Am I in favor of the path of consensus? Yes, I am.


What about the other person?


I believe, he, too, is.


Trust, patience and forbearance… If my heart doesn’t bear these virtues, it would be difficult for me to accept the reality that the other person has the right to own and express his view…

Our world will be a better place to inhabit for us… the early we all learn this lesson, in life…



GERALD D’CUNHA

Comments

Nupur Suresh said…
Nice insights, keep writing. Nupur
January 15, 2014 at 3:14 PM
Naresh Lalwani said…
very useful post
.. Naresh Lalwani
January 15, 2014 at 5:21 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

MUTHU KODI KAWARI HADA

Image
Pic.; Ashwin Mohta M y Hindi was always bad. It still is. One reason for this was, that they introduced Hindi for us only in 6 th standard. Or, was it in 8 th ? I don’t remember… I only remember struggling to write and read… leave alone speak! But, I loved Hindi movies, and, strangely, I could understand the dialogues and the lyrics of the songs… I used to sing those songs (of course when no one was around me!) as if I was the lyricist… One of the songs was a very funny one. ‘Muthu Kodi Kawari Hada’. It was from Mehmood’s super-hit comedy – ‘Do Phool’. I was a 15-year-old high-school boy when I had heard that song (not watched the movie). I could grasp the meaning of two words – ‘Muthu Kodi’… which meant ‘Give kiss’… But, what ‘Kawari Hada’ meant, I have no clue till date! It was just like ‘Why this kolaveri di’... Yes, why ask? Simply enjoy the beats… And, the beats are great… The rest... Who cares? Really! So, whatever bit of Hi
Read more

"HAPPILY EVER AFTER IS NOT A FAIRY-TALE... IT IS A CHOICE"

Image
“Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone… It has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new.” – Ursula K. Le Guin,  The Lathe of Heaven T welve years ago, when Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie got married, the world began to hail the couple as ‘Brangelina’. It became a fashion for couples around us to call themselves so… Norbert and Teresa renamed them as ‘Noresa’…  Amol and Vishaka baptized their relationship as ‘Amoshka’… and, Salman and Nargis became ‘Salgis’! I and my wife, too, got tempted to re-christian our matrimonial relationship as ‘Germa’... That is, Gerald and Anima, to be precise! B efore I proceed any further, let me make it very clear, here… that, I have no business to judge on the break-up of Brad Pitt and Angelina’ Jolie’s marriage. I have no inclination to go into why, how, what when etc behind it… The couple ‘chose’ to split. And, it’s their choice… Only they know how good or bad… how joyful or painful that
Read more

SELLING MIRRORS IN THE CITY OF THE BLIND

Image
“I laugh when I hear that the fish in the water is thirsty. I laugh when I hear that people go on pilgrimage to find God.” - Kabir T here is a universal human weakness – and it dates back to the days of fallen civilizations – and it is: to place people on pedestal and trying to be smothered by them, feel loved and protected in their company… worship them as mentors, heroes,  gurus, Mahagurus and Satgurus… Make these mortals larger-than-life cut-outs, worship them as flawless, pure and give one’s all… And, then, ‘take’ everything from them blindly as divine… Give everything to them blindly… Eventually, what happens is:  one more dangerous bondage… What was supposed to free you now becomes a new prison… It’s sad to see this happen! T his room, where I am writing this Post, has no image of any deity. I have no image of any Guru or Master around me… My question is: “Am I not able to feel close to Almighty God?  How does it matter
Read more
THE WILD, WAYSIDE FLOWERS
There is, always, something extra-ordinary in the wild, wayside flowers...