THE ART OF MANAGING DISAGREEMENTS

















Pic.: Bhushan Thakkar
One of the most valuable lessons I have learnt in my life – rather, I am still learning – is: the art of managing disagreements.


In fact, a genuine realization that another person around me can have – and, often, does have - another view point, itself, is a very fine lesson. From this very first realization stems the rest of my wisdom: 

That, the other person has the right to voice his view, his disagreement, and, I must be confident and graceful enough to respect his view… discuss it out… and, strive for a consensus;

That, when there is disagreement, it is only a disagreement… and, there is nothing personal about it;

That, it is an opportunity for me to be a strong, sensitive and accommodating person, and, thereby, to enhance my self-confidence and leadership skills;

That, if the other person is weak and takes things personally, I must learn not to get into the ‘trap’ and play the same game;

That, by learning to respect another person’s view, and by accommodating it, I bring about more harmony within my own heart;

That, there is no area in life where I can have ‘my own way’… The way that serves ‘the larger good’ is the best way.

So, it is sensible to go about life expecting people around me to be as fairly intelligent as I am. Yes, they may not hold the same view as I do… But, then, it is perfectly okay… as long as we all learn to work out a consensus…


Am I in favor of the path of consensus? Yes, I am.


What about the other person?


I believe, he, too, is.


Trust, patience and forbearance… If my heart doesn’t bear these virtues, it would be difficult for me to accept the reality that the other person has the right to own and express his view…

Our world will be a better place to inhabit for us… the early we all learn this lesson, in life…



GERALD D’CUNHA

Comments

Nupur Suresh said…
Nice insights, keep writing. Nupur
January 15, 2014 at 3:14 PM
Naresh Lalwani said…
very useful post
.. Naresh Lalwani
January 15, 2014 at 5:21 PM
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