THE GOOD FOX AND THE BAD FOX

Pic.: Sheela Krishnamony

The old story of ‘Two Foxes’, once again, came before me, today…

One day, a grandfather told his little-grandson, “Honey, inside you there are two foxes and they are constantly fighting with each other.”

“Which one will win, grandpa?” the little-fellow was curious to know.

“The one who you will feed the most, honey,” the grandpa said caressing the little-one’s head.

As a little child, and later, as a college-going boy, I was terribly shy and frightened. Self-doubts and anxiety had kept me subdued… Desires and dreams, I would, always, think belonged to some privileged kids… and not to me …

And, as I have told this many, many times before, it all changed when Prof. B.S. Raman came to teach our class in F.Y. B’Com. Sitting there lost in the crowd of our all-boys class, I desired to become like my idol – a fine teacher.

But, an interesting thing happened: As I became conscious of my burning desire to become a fine teacher, I, also, became conscious of my nagging fears and self-doubts… “I am from a vernacular medium; so, I am bad in English… I can’t even make a sentence correctly in English.”…  I am bad in Public-speaking… The very thought of standing before a group cripples me, makes me numb…  My parents are poor… They will not be able to support my dream… So, the best thing is to settle for ‘any job’ that will come my way.” Yes, I, suddenly, became conscious of this negative voice inside my heart.

On the other side, I was able to hear the positive voice, too: “I am are a special young-kid, and I have within me what it takes to be a fine teacher… I will never get scared in life… Never go by self-doubts… Never go by my past conditions… Never allow them to influence my future… I will work on my English improvement… Work on my Public-speaking skills… Work on improving the financial condition in my life.” Yes, I, suddenly, became conscious of this positive voice inside my heart, too.

So, this was the fight of two foxes in my heart, too. And, because my desire to become a fine teacher was stronger than my fears of speaking in English and in Public, or my anxiety about the financial condition I was in… yes, because I fed the ‘good fox’ more than the ‘bad fox’, the good fox won, eventually. In fact, my handicaps became my blessings in disguise… They gave me motivation to work ten times harder than I would have done otherwise… If I am writing like this every day – for over forty years – it is precisely because of my handicaps… I wanted to beat them; I wanted to beat my fears and anxieties – the bad fox.

In life, whatever we focus on, expands. That’s the age-old Law of Attraction. If we focus more and more on our desires and dreams, and less and less on our fears and anxieties, we ‘will’ be able to see our desires and dreams manifest in our lives…

It is Navratri time. Jayaprakash and Sheetal, our friends, had invited us to their residence, today. They had decorated the traditional ‘Golu’. Their two little-children – Vedant (standard 6) and Srishti (standard 3) – had been to the school. I enquired about their inclination, and, suddenly, Jayaprakash’s face lit up.  “Delightfully, Vedant has started to love writing. I am happy,” he said, “Hope it continues. Srishti, I think, is too small to reveal any concrete inclination, at present.”

While leaving, both, my wife and I, wished Jayaprakash’s family – particularly the kids – the very best in life. “May all their desires and dreams come true,” we said.

On my way to workplace, little Vedant revived the memories of my own seeds of writing… I wanted to tell the little-fellow the story of two foxes and their battle in our hearts… and wanted to remind him, that the fox  he fed the most, would, eventually, win…

“Honey, please focus more and more on your dreams, and less and less on your fears. Love and blessings.”

GERALD D’CUNHA