WISDOM COMES WITH WINTERS
“You
spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them
to
walk and talk.
Then,
you spend the next 16 years telling them
to sit
down and shut up.”
Anonymous
Doesn’t
it sound familiar?
Well, it does. And, it also
makes us smile, behind which, we can hear our quiet justification: “Hey, is it
not parenting?”
Yesterday was my mom’s b’day.
She entered her 87th. My wife and I had made a video call to wish
her yesterday. Mom sounded cheerful, a lot content. One of the things, that was
going through my mind was, how, with age, parents become more and more
dependent on their children. Honestly, my mind went back to those initial 2
years when I was a baby… I didn’t remember much about it… But, most certainly,
she must’ve taught me, like all other mothers did, to walk and talk! How
important it must’ve been for her! How satisfying! What I clearly remember were
the next 16 years, when I was getting into my little boyhood and slowly turning
into an adolescent… Oh, those endless heartburns to discipline her son… yes, to
make him sit down or shut up!
In those few minutes, while
talking to my mom yesterday, my mind also brought back the memories of my own
attempts to make my only son walk and talk in his first 2 years… What a
satisfying experience that’d been to me and my wife as parents! And, I quickly
remembered the following 16 years… of we trying to discipline him – ‘Sit down’
and ‘Shut up’!
Maybe, it’s just a metaphor…
Each parent does it; but, to each his own, always! A parent like me has an opportunity
to stand at this midway and look both ways to reflect: How did my parents bring
me up? And how did we parents bring up our own?
I seriously think, that this
midway reflection is an important thing in one’s life. Oscar Wilde would beautifully
describe it with his words - “Wisdom comes with winters”…
How true!
Parents, slowly, lose their
control and become dependent on their children. That’s also an amazing phase of
growth, and living. For grandchildren to provide a fresh meaning and purpose to
their grandparents… For grandparents to
provide a fresh meaning and purpose to their grandchildren. With that, Life comes the full circle… It’s really
beautiful!
“There are two lasting bequests
we can give our children,” says Hodding Carter Jr., “One is roots. The other is wings.”
The ‘winter’ is the season in
life to look back and reflect, if our parents had given us these two bequests,
and if we have given the same to our own children.
GERALD D’CUNHA
Pic’s: pixabay
Video: Leslie Odom Jr.
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