A LITTLE HELP FROM YOURSELF...

May 10, 2012

Well, I will never understand others’ problems, unless they become my own!

I would like to tell it again, slightly in a different way: “Others’ problems will always be others’… till they come in my own life!”

Even if I deeply ‘empathize’ with them, their problems will always remain theirs’.

Yes, my students’ problems are their own…

My parent’s are their own…

My spouse’s are her own…

My son’s are his own…

My best friend’s are, too.

A young college-going girl has a special problem: she is afraid to make friends with any one! In college – she belongs to a girls’ college – she hasn’t made a single friend… the very thought of it scares her… Any persuation from her parents, in this regard, only makes her resist and hate going to college.

Making friendship with boys is the most dreaded proposition…

“Silly!” This is the first reaction from any of us… “Funny girl!”

“Stop making nakras,” many of her teachers and relatives shout at her.

“I am not making any nakras,” the girl cries.

“Show her to a psychologist,” some well-wishers have suggested, “She needs help.”

Yes, the young girl needs help.

She is not doing any nakras and nataks… She is helpless… She needs help.

There are people like this young girl. They are frightened of the world outside… They are afraid of making friends… They live in their own world…

This young girl’s mother knew me very well… So, she had come to see me, some days ago.

Well, I am not a psychologist… I am only a teacher who teaches young ones like this one… So, what could I tell them? How could I help them?

“Sir, she is very sincere…

But, when she comes to do it,

she backs out in fear,” the mother explained,

“I just want her to be here in your sessions…

I have no big hopes,

just a little help will do.”

I used my best charm on the young one to persuade her to be there, the next day. Yes, she did come... but, with mother along! The following day, the young one did appear alone… And, my focus had been not to put any pressure on this young one… Never even to make her aware that she had to say ‘hello’ to someone… or offer a smile. I kept away any agenda and allowed the young one to watch what was going on… including the motivational videos being shown. I allowed her to be…

On the third day, just before ten minutes to the session, the mother called up. “Sir, she is refusing to attend,” the mother cried on the phone, “I don’t know how to help her.”

The mother needed help more than the daughter, now. “Relax ma’am,” I consoled, “let’s not lose hopes… Let’s not give up… She will overcome her problem.”

I only hoped so. I knew, I was being kind on the phone… Nothing more than that!

The session started and I was feeling bad for the young one. “How nice if she could help herself a little at least…” I was thinking, “Hope, she does.”

And behold! The young girl entered the class… Giving me a very pleasant surprise and making me really happy!

Hope works… Oh, it does!

During the session, I kept the theme: How we can work wonders by helping ourselves. “We all have our own problems… And, to come out of our problems, we need to help ourselves… Everyone else in our lives is just a cheerleader… God and the angels are our partners in success… But then, we need to take the first step… we need to have the desire to over come our problems… we need to seek help… we need to be determined to do it. It only works then, not otherwise.”

I showed them the YouTube video on Scott James, the young contestant who stunned the world when he gathered courage to walk on to the stage. Yes, the same young man, who had remained in ‘hiding’ all these years… frightened to venture into the outside world! And, I, once again hoped, that my own young one, who was watching this video, would go home a little more determined to do what we all were wanted her to.