THE DISTANCE BETWEEN OUR HEARTS

Pic.: Chetna Shetty

If, for me, winning an argument is more important than winning a person, then, it shall be so for me, always...

I will argue with the person, tooth and nail... I will argue angrily, as though my very survival depends on winning the argument... proving myself right.

And, when it is all over – yes, when I have won the argument and vanquished my opponent - I will, invariably, find myself isolated and unloved... sad and, even, angrier...

Yes, often, angry at my own self!

The funniest part of this is: most of us argue with our own near-and-dear-ones – screaming and shouting in anger – as though they are our worst enemies!

Once, on seeing the members of a certain family yelling at each other in anger, a wise teacher asked his students, “Tell me, why do people shout at each other when they are angry?”

“Because, they are provoked,” replied one student...

“Because, they lose their patience,” answered another...

“But, why shout and scream when the person is just next to you?” asked the teacher, “Don’t you think, one can, always, convey his feelings to the other person gently?”

Many answers came up... and, the teacher did not seem convinced by any of them. Finally, he explained to his students, “My dear students, when we are angry with each other, we create a distance between our hearts... and, that’s why we shout at each other.”

Then, the teacher asked his students, “Dear young-ones, have you ever observed what happens when two people fall in love? The distance between their hearts becomes less...  They simply need to talk softly to each other.”

The teacher went on, “When they love each other more, the distance between their hearts becomes lesser... and they just need to speak in whispers to each other!”

“Finally, my dear young-students,” the wise-one added, “When they love even more, the distance disappears completely, and they do not need to whisper even... Just being with each other is enough to express what they want to!”

It’s really funny!

Every time I catch myself screaming at my close-ones angrily, this endearing story – which has been retold by every great teacher, down the ages – makes me feel a lot humbler...

And, yes, it helps me come closer, too!

GERALD D’CUNHA