NOT AT LEAST TODAY BETA... NOT AT LEAST TODAY SIR
Pic.: Ruma Chatterjee
As per
our son’s suggestion, last night, we had my b’day dinner, quietly, on the
roof-top restaurant, ‘Koyla’, at Colaba. He knew that I did not like crowded and
noisy restaurants... So, ‘Koyla’, with its beach-inspired ambiance, fitted the
bill, perfectly. But, there was one condition we had agreed upon: to switch off
our cell-phones...
No regrets... even though there were two-dozen
missed-calls and another two-dozen messages... The roof-top did not come down,
nor did my heart fail to beat!
Late night, after returning home, I picked one of the
calls. It was Kushal*, a twelfth-standard student of mine. He had his class,
early this morning. So, almost close to midnight, when I got his call to wish
me, though I felt very nice, I reminded him about today’s early-morning
class... There was a home-work to be done... He had been skipping homework,
almost, every class... and, almost, in every class, he had been getting my
‘special sermon’... But, then, he would obediently look at me, listen to me,
promise me... and, come to my class, the next class, once again, without the
homework... I would scream and shout, he wouldn't feel bad about it, I would...
“Sorry sir, I will not repeat my mistake,” I would feel relieved... But, the
very next class, lo! There was one more lame excuse!
Kushal wants to do Law. Fair enough. My subject, Accountancy
is not very important to his plans... But, the fact that he makes his promises
and breaks it worries me. “It is not about Accountancy dear,” I remind him, “It
is about the promise you make and fail to keep... It is about the damage it
does to your own self-esteem... It is about the habit pattern your silently
allow in you to form... It is about managing time, keeping yourself motivated
to do things you do not like, but still have to do...”
Well, all this, my student – who, I know loves and worships
me – listens without any resistance... But, then, something happens between the
promise he makes and breaks!
Last
night, I did remind Kushal to come to class, today morning, with the home-work.
“Yes sir, I will,” he promised “Have a beautiful night
sir.”
”You too, beta,”
I felt nice.
And, this early this morning, when I looked at my dear
Kushal’s face, I knew what it was telling me..
“Oh, no beta,
not today... not today!” I said with all the sweetness and honesty of my heart,
“You know what, yesterday I had made my own b’day promise to myself... that, at
least for one day – that is today – I would not scream and shout at my
students, whatever be their mistakes... Beta,
you had wished me good health and happiness, last night... Hadn't you? No beta, at least today, you should have
turned up with your home work... at least for your sir’s sake...”
My dear Kushal’s face was telling me that he really felt
for me. “Look my dear students,” I told the whole class, this is 8 in the
morning, my fist batch... My last batch will end at 8.30 tonight... If I feel
disappointed, irritated and angry, like this - right now and through all my day
- imagine my ‘health and happiness’ when my day ends... I have to maintain my freshness
and energy at their peak till I wind up, today.. How will I? How will I have
good health and happiness when I go back home? How will I keep alive my own
motivation to come back for work, tomorrow morning?”
I looked at Kushal, with all my love-turned-anguish, and
said, once again, “Not at least today, beta...
Not today!”
“Sorry sir,” Kushal sincerely apologized for hurting me,
“I am really sorry.”
When my students realize their mistakes, and sincerely
own up, I become peaceful...
After the class, I came to my office and opened my FB
account... and, behold! “Today is Kushal’s birthday... Wish him,” all merciful
FB reminded me...
My heart went numb!
“No Gerry, not today,” I hid my face in my palms, “At
least for today, you should have kept your promise!”
I did not wait to inbox my dear student, who must have, by
now, just entered his home:
“Hey Kushal, I feel bad when I think of the
repeated scolding I give u.
I
did not know it was ur
But, u know why I do it!!!
Dear, wish u a very happy b’day... and wish
all the good things in life...
Love you.”
Before I could re-read what I had scribbled, there
flashed Kushal’s reply:
“No
sir, I completely understand, why you did it...
Thank you.”
Who
has to change?
My heart is still smiling... and my head is still
swinging...
Trust me, I am happy.
* Name is changed
GERALD D’CUNHA
Comments
Tushar Dhing