DEAR, YOU WILL SHINE
“There
are no traffic jams
when you go the extra mile.”
Zig
Ziglar
The
thought that I should know everything, I should be good at everything… I should
have an answer for every problem – yes, this kind of thought can be extremely
overwhelming and stressful. It comes from the misconceived and ill-advised pursuit
of ‘perfection’.
No Sir, we needn’t
know everything in life… We needn’t have an answer for every problem under the
Sun… We are living people – full of imperfections. We make lots and lots of
mistakes as we walk into our unfamiliar territories in life… As long as we live,
we shall live with our imperfections… and, that is not only perfectly fine, that’s also something so beautiful about living, and growing.
A week ago, I
was approached by a young Assistant Professor of a reputed college of Architecture
in Mumbai. This young gentleman’s name was Pulkit, and he told me that the
college Principal had asked him to approach me for an online motivational session
for the second-and-third-year students. I had held a session in the college premises
last year and the Principal, faculty and the students, apparently, had found it
very effective. So, the expectation was the same, this time: “Put some fire in the young
bellies right at the start of their academic year!”
But, this is lockdown period, and it’s a virtual audience. For over four decades, I have
taught students in live action in class rooms… for over three decades, I have
also held so many live programmes on Personality Development. But, here is a
new challenge faced by people of my generation. Unlike today’s kids, we learnt
the ABCD of computer much later in our lives… I did it in my early fifties! I
will be 62, this July. So, you can imagine my computer and net skills!
But, then, there
is a starting point for everything in life. When tide changes, you better learn
to swim accordingly, differently, or else, be prepared to be swept away!
So, my first
reaction when Pulkit approached me for the online session was a very honest
one. I hadn’t conducted any of them before, hence, I wasn’t sure of doing justice
to the task. I gave the reference of some of my trainer-friends who were good
at conducting virtual sessions. Pulkit thanked me and ended the conversation. Within
the next five minutes, I received a call from the college Principal. “Mr. Gerald,
we want only you to conduct it. My young team will help you put it in place…
Just trust me. But, we want you to do it… The fire in the belly!”
I remembered
this story of eagle – ‘The Push’… How often I would play this to our young ones
and give that much-needed nudge – ‘the push’ for their first flight!
So, feeling a
bit embarrassed, I said, "Ok Sir… I will take the plunge."
Now, there was
no option – I had to sink or swim…
Today was the
session… I did swim, beautifully!
Anxieties and
fear make us human. We need not know all the skills in the world… When we make
peace with our imperfections, we become peaceful. To me, that’s ‘perfection’!
Today, a young
one had asked a question during the Q & A slot. She wanted my take on how
to find satisfaction and perfection in our work. Well, I told the young one,
that I had removed that word – ‘Perfection’ – from my own dictionary… "I find
perfection in my imperfections," I said and explained to her what I meant by that… How peaceful
it made me… how fluid and pliable to grow and be shaped along my journey of
growth. About ‘satisfaction’, yes, I told her this: “It’s a momentary feeling… It
comes when you do a job with your heart and soul… A job well-done… When you do what
you love and love what you do.... When you go by your own heart, not someone else’s… When you don’t do
things to appease and satisfy others, but, do it to the best of your abilities, with
all your heart… and leave it at that.”
I had shown them
a couple of motivational videos. The last one was this:
Nick Vujicic’s message
– ‘It’s not a life without limbs, it’s a life without limits’ - puts all of us
into shame. Every time you and I complain about our conditions and challenges
in life, every time we hide behind our lame excuses, every time we self-pity
and blame others for our plight, we must listen to what he has to say… Gratitude and Celebration of life - yes, these words are just platitudes unless we pause and
allow his message to go in…
When I was in T.Y.
B. Com, about 20-year-old that’s – I was teaching so many students in our village,
just for joy… Free of charge. Believe me, we had acute financial problems at
home; yet, my parents never stopped me from doing what I was doing – teaching dozens
of college kids just for joy. Many of those students have become my lifetime
well-wishers. I remember visiting one of the students’ house on the eve of my
migrating to Bombay. Her father was a well-known author in Konkani language. He,
too, must’ve felt something about my quality of going the extra mile, not doing
the work for money alone etc. So, while leaving, this tall, strong man stood
up, shook my hand and said, “Dear, you will shine!”
Imagine the kind
of impact those well-meant words would have on an earnest heart! Even after
four long decades, those words play on the periphery of my heart… And, trust me
when I say this: I have said this to hundreds of young ones, with the same
honesty, “Dear, you will shine!”
To add more
pressure on my anxiety about conducting the online session, last night, I was faced
with an additional challenge. Pulkit and his colleagues had reduced my anxiety
substantially. Now, just at around 11 in the night, he was offering his
willingness to put together a nice PPT. “Sir, just send me your text and leave
the rest to me. By 1.45 of the night, Pulkit had created a fabulous PPT… It was
so catchy and colourful, that I instantly knew I was holding a trump card in my hand.
Today, the session
was attended by over a hundred students, the Principal, the faculty members,
and, as the Principal told me later, several parents at home. While signing off,
I urged the students to learn, early in life, the quality of going the extra mile.
I told about Pulkit’s quiet help till 1.45 in the night… and how I said to him,
“Dear, you will shine!”
I also told my virtual
audience one more little story about going the extra mile. Yesterday happened
to be my father-in-law’s 85th birthday. I had asked Kashish, my dear
friend Sandeep’s wife, to home-deliver a 1-kg (Chocolate truffle) cake. Kashish
has been very passionate about making cakes, brownies, cookies and chocolates
at home. Our cake arrived at 7 sharp in the evening. What was surprising was,
that there was a nicely-wrapped another box. We thought it was someone else’s
item. “No, Madam has asked me to deliver both these items to you,” the delivery
boy said… Four seductive brownies stared at us when we opened that ‘extra box’!
I immediately
called Kashish and said, “This is the real icing on the cake”! Then, I told her
what my student’s father had told, four decades ago, shaking my hand: “Dear,
you will shine!”
And, I told that
to Kashish, last evening, one more time!
GERALD D’CUNHA
Pic.: www.freeimages.com
Videos: 1. Amr Saad 2. Life Without Limbs 3. Leonard Cohen
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