IN GLORY OF GOING GREEN

A skinny fellow is desperately trying to woo a pretty girl. In the middle of his frantic efforts, another - not so great-looking - guy comes in the picture ... The pretty babe is all floored! The next moment, you see her cosing up with this intruder ... while our 'devdas' is left kicking in the air, screaming his lungs out:

"WHAT IS THAT HE HAS ... THAT I DON'T?"

The camera zooms in on 'that' thing: 'The winner's underwear'!

I do not know how many, today, remember this TV ad of a famous underwear manufacturer. But, I still do ... because, I used to simply love it!

They say: When you fall in love, you turn pink; when angry, you turn red; when scared, you turn yellow ... and, when you are jealous, you go green.

This article is about going green ... The ecstasy and agony of being jealous of someone.

"Woman, thy name is envy," when Shakespeare said it, years ago, I wasn't born. Otherwise, he wouldn't have done that blunder of inviting trouble for himself. Women know how jealous men are ... And, I know how jealous I am.

And the last thing I want to hear from you is:

"Why are you jealous?"
"Don't be jealous."
"Stop feeling jealous."

Arey, yaar ... the fact is 'I am jealous'!... And, how do you want me to stop it? By telling lies? Or trying to destroy it, running around , the way a dog chases its tail?

I have tried them all. Now, leave me alone with my 'devil' ... I will deal with him, in my own way.

There are a dozen barbers in the narrow by lanes around here, and, every year, you find a new saloon, with new 'gadgets'. And, believe me it doesn't disturb me at all. Ditto for a hundred Udupi's, or a thousand paan-beedi shops. I am cool; why should their invasion disturb me?

They don't invade my territory, after all.

Like a dog, before I settle down, I mark my territory. And, warn the other dogs - and even the cats, rats and crows - 'You better stay away'! Dare they, I not only turn red, I turn green and yellow, all at the same time.

Jealousy is born from my fear and insecurity. And, I do feel scared when someone ventures close to my territory ... I turn pale, yellow. I start worrying over losing my hold, my territory; I start worrying over 'he' taking away my 'glory', my name ... my babe. If, by chance, he does, my eyes turn green.

Yes, ONIDA, you are right. "The neighbour's envy is the owner's pride!"

My anger stems from my deficiency, my inadequacies ... and, like the traffic signal, they all go up one by one: yellow, red and green. They are all cousins, related!

To me, the traffic signal has one more light, and that is: PINK! Whenever I experience this lack about my self-worth, whenever I see - rather 'perceive' - someone taking away my 'pretty babe', I first go pale yellow, then red, then green and, after all this is come and gone, I turn pink.

It signals this: "You skinny man, you already have what 'he' has. Just look down; just believe in it; just love your own stuff ..."

And, believe me, this happens, invariably, every time, when - like that 'patloo' - I, too, find myself kicking in the air and screaming my lungs out: "WHAT IS THAT HE HAS, THAT I DON'T?"

I blush. I turn pink. I start accepting and caring for myself ...
I experience a very real spiritual growth!

I realise, turning me green, is God's way of revealing my self ...
It is the gateway to the heaven called LOVE.


GERALD D'CUNHA


P.S. By the by, 'Going green' also means: becoming a vegetarian, or a peace-lover.
True, it does. But, my traffic signal has an additional colour, you see!