Wednesday, November 9, 2011


“Judge not others, so that you will not be judged by them.” – Jesus Christ

“If I judge others, I will have no time to love them.” – Mother Theresa

I find it extremely difficult – almost impossible – to love any one when my mind is busy judging him or her. It could be any body – my spouse, son, friend, neighbor, colleague, student or any one with whom I deal with in life. My mind makes me sit on judgment and I listen to the person, or talk, through this thickly-smoked screen of judgment

I am aware of this; and, I am aware of the fact that it is difficult for me to establish fine relationship with others when my mind is indulged in judging.

Many tell me that we shouldn’t blindly believe or trust anyone in life. That, we should not act naïve… We should take everything with a pinch of salt… We should probe, if necessary… delay decisions, smell the motive of the other person… and, finally, be ready to part ways. We should do what is good for us, and not others.

Well, this argument does seem sensible and also practical. There are times, we land up in problems because we blindly trust and believe others. It is necessary, therefore, not to get carried always by someone’s sweet words or promises. It is necessary to be a little cautious, discrete and forthright in our dealings.

However, our mind has the tendency of taking this ‘cautious’ business too far. Many of us have very low trust level… and see everyone and everything with suspicion. In this case, it is tough for us to establish good relationships; it is tough for us to become good leaders at home and outside. Suspicion is contagious… If I see some one with suspicious eyes, I will not be able to find a good human in him… as he too ends up seeing me with his own suspicious eyes. The old saying comes to my mind: “A thief sees only a thief in everyone around him.”

It is difficult for me to accept someone

when I am unable to suspend my judgments.

It is difficult for me to truly listen, and truly communicate –

when I am busy screening him in my mind.

I know, if I act naïve, I will land up in problems.

But, I can not experience love and peace if I keep doubting and judging.

When I give, I should just give… trusting. I believe, it comes back, in the similar fashion. Christ was not naïve when he forgave the prostitute woman who was dragged to Him by the self-righteous men… Nor was he naïve when he accepted the hard-core criminal, who was nailed next to Him. “Master, please remember me in heaven, this night,” the criminal had pleaded Jesus. “You will be in heaven with me tonight,” Jesus had promised.

I am no Jesus Christ… I am no Holy Man. Still, I fully believe, I need to be less judgmental, less suspicious… I must trust more, forgive more, and believe more… I must accept others’ limitations and flaws… Because, I am a human with limitations and flaws of my own… and, I yearn to be trusted, accepted, forgiven and loved. I have faith in goodness of the Universe… and, I have full faith in the Holy Words that remind me: “What goes around, comes around.”

And yes, “We reap, what we sow.”



Anonymous said...

Mr. D'Cunha, I fully agree with you when you tell in your post that most of us are too busy judging, analyzing, screening others to actually be able to love them. Our mind comes on our way of accepting and loving.

Thoughtful post, thanks.


Gerald D'Cunha said...

Thanks Mr. Suvarna for ur comment.

I do not know about others, but in my case, I do feel I am unable to truly love someone when my mind is pre-occupied with judging and screening him. On the other hand, whenever I am not caught in this game, I feel the freshness of child-like love.

Yes, the mind comes on the way...

Thanks again,


Sundar said...

we do, we do and many times over....

Gerald D'Cunha said...

Hey Sundar,

Felt good reading your crisp comment after a long, long time...

There is a world encapsulated in that crisp statement: "We do...we do and many times over."!



UMA said...

Thanks Gerry for this brilliant piece of thought... Love to read more and more.


Gerald D'Cunha said...

Hi Uma, I am glad u liked the post.

Thanks for the encouragement. Yes, I will keep posting and u will keep reading.