AN ACT OF COURAGE AND GRACE
When
I say “Sorry” to someone, and I really mean it, I expose to him my vulnerable
side. If I do that - and, as I said, really meaning it - then, I have nothing left
in me to defend myself!
“Peace is extremely important to
both of us… So, I offer this unconditional apology to you… Please accept it… Do
not keep any doubts; do not ask me any more questions… Do not remind me of any
of my past mistakes - harsh words, or painful wounds… All that I can say is: I
need your help to heal my wounds… and you need my help to heal your own… Let’s
make peace as our conscious choice… and, let’s do it unconditionally.”…
This is what goes through my mind,
every time I expose my vulnerability and say “Sorry”. I yearn that the other
person will accept my olive branch… that, he will not ask me any more
questions… will not probe me further, remind me of my past mistakes… will not
revive the pain of those wounds… Yes, I yearn for his helping hand… and, and I
yearn for him to do it unconditionally, with his own vulnerability.
So, when I say “Sorry”, and
really mean it, if the other person doesn’t accept it… if he keeps probing and
reminding me of my past mistakes… it is very difficult to experience peace.
Peace – the rest in our hearts –
is possible only when “Sorry” is accepted… When hug is felt, reciprocated… When
I say “Sorry”, the other person judges me not…and, when he says “Sorry”, I
judge him not... When, I measure him with the same yard-stick with which I do
myself… When I really believe in the adage – “To err is human; to forgive is
divine!” … When I realize, that, if this knot is not removed, now, there is no
hope of a tomorrow… That, wounds need to be healed by each-other’s helping
hand.
Saying
“Sorry” doesn’t come easily to us. Because, we fear that the other person may
continue probing us and reminding us of our past wounds… And, because we have
already made ourselves defenseless, by dropping our guards and defenses, it is
important that we are prepared to face the probe, if comes… suffer the wounds,
if further inflicted – For, saying “Sorry” is an act of our conscious choice – the
sign of our character strength. Therefore, to accept “Sorry” from the other
person, too, is our conscious choice – the sign of our character strength. And,
to be prepared to face the consequences of non-acceptance of our olive branch
is what places us among those, which, the Beatitudes of Jesus Christ refer as:
“Blessed are the peacemakers: for
they shall be called the children of God.”
So, need we say “Sorry”?
Yes, we need to.
Need we accept “Sorry” from
others?
Yes, we need to.
Loving
is an act of not only ‘Courage’…
it is an act of ‘Grace’, too!
GERALD D’CUNHA
Pic.:Vivek D'Cunha
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