Gerald D'Cunha

  “Seva karna   hai toh ghadee mat dekho, Prasad lena hai toh swaad mat dekho, Satsang sunna hai toh jaga mat dekho.” Unknown Guru   D r. Brijesh* is not a doctor of medicine. He is a doctorate – a PhD. But, that is not the point of interest for my blog, today. He lives in another metropolitan city, hundreds of miles away from amchi Mumbai . But, we have known to each other for over two decades, now. We share common values – simplicity, straight-forwardness, mutual respect, and, above all, sharing. There were many occasions, he had sought my help in matters of my expertise. And, there were many occasions, I had sought his help. I particularly remember one early morning, some ten-twelve years ago. I was heavily weighed down by some issues… I was driven to the edge and, I was breaking down easily. So, that particular morning, I was baring it all over the phone before Dr. Brijesh. All that he did was what I desperately needed at that time: a good, hearty, empathe...

  “Let’s build bridges, not walls.” Martin Luther King Jr.   I came across this interesting dialogue while looking for appropriate quotes relating to self-care and assertiveness: “Not everything is about you,” Clary said furiously. “Possibly,"  Jace said, "but, you have to admit, that majority of things are.” (Cassandra Clare, City of Glass)   When we criticize others, are we aware, if we are criticizing the ‘person’ or his/her ‘actions’? I think, many times, we aren’t. Similarly, when someone criticizes us, are we aware, if it is our actions or we, as persons, that are being criticized? Again, I think, many times, we aren’t. It’s easy for us to say, “Hey, it’s not about you.” But, ‘something’, always, is… Isn’t it? That’s what drew my attention to in the dialogue shared above. While Clary, furiously, declares, “Not ‘everything’ is about you,” Jace reminds, ‘Something’ is… In fact, "‘majority of things’ are"! To me, the take away from th...

  “A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion, still.” Dale Carnegie in ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’   I was born into a Roman Catholic family. By virtue of it, I have been following certain deity and saints, and practicing certain customs, eating and dressing habits. Similarly, over time, I have leaned towards certain political ideology and followed certain leaders.   But, which God I worship or which political leader I support, I think, I should keep it private, unless I have an aggressive evangelistic or political agenda. I have none… I wish to have none. But, let me make it clear: To follow a certain religious or political ideology is my basic human-right. At the same time, I believe, that it’s my basic human-duty to respect others’ basic human-rights… To me, that’s being civilized… Live and let live. Trouble starts, when I try to demean ‘publicly’ what others believe in and practice. That’s like stirring up the hornet’s nest… Da...

  “You may be the sweetest peach on the tree; but, some people just don’t like peaches.” Unknown   T he thought that I am liked and admired by others   – the things that I do, like my teaching and writing, are liked and appreciated by them, yes, it is the nourishment for my healthy self-esteem. I do not think, that anyone in this world can truly feel efficient, happy and peaceful without being liked and appreciated by many – if not by all. I had to add that rider clause – ‘If not by all’! And, that’s the essence of today’s Post: “Hello, you may be the sweetest peach on the tree; but, some people just don’t like peaches!” How reliving these words are! A lmost all of us have built the edifice of our self-esteem on this foundation - of being liked and appreciated by others. Where this foundation is weak, the edifice of self-esteem is weak as well. But, we just can’t expect everyone to press the ‘like button’. There will be some – significant or insignificant ...

  “Opportunity does not waste time with those who are unprepared.” Idowu Koyenikan   I f it is pandemic, it’s so for all of us. If kids are locked at home - bored, fatigued and depressed, so are their parents and grandparents. If school and college kids are locked at home - frustrated and are devoid of interest, so are their teachers and Principals. If the employees are anxious and worried, so are their employers. If citizens of the country or states are not able to see any light at the end of the tunnel, so are their governments… Has anybody been spared by these dark times? I am a teacher, and I, too, find myself asking: ‘When will it all end? When will my anxiety, worry, fatigue, boredom, depression – yes, when will all these go?” Go they will, I know. But, when? So, when I see my students uninterested, fatigued and bored, what will I tell them - “Chill dudes, you have my company”? Or, is there a better way, by which, I can make them realize, that despite the...

  “The only things you learn are the things you tame.” Antoine de-Saint Exupery   O sho would, often, say, “No one can teach you; still, you can learn.” This statement has a deep meaning. What we call ‘learning’ is a quiet and continuous process of personal growth. It’s seldom confined to the classrooms. Yes, teachers come in our lives to teach. But, then, they are like the farmer in the Parable Jesus told, who went about sowing seeds… Only some seeds fall on the fertile soil, so they grow… Thus, teachers may teach us… But, do we learn? M y last Blog was titled - ‘Cracked the Toughest Exam, or Soul?’. After reading my Post, Aditi, my friend, wrote this: “Apt for the times! Two days ago, I was passing our security gate and was distracted with some thought. The security uncle said a ‘Hallo’ and I was oblivious. After ten steps, I realized my folly…walked back and acknowledged him with a ‘Good Evening’!” My friend, who is in her mid-forties, is a professional Cost...

  “The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled.”   Plutarch   I t’s easy to get a little – often, a lot – drunk with power when one gets to any seat of power. To understand this, we needn’t look to netas   alone. The position of power can be as basic as that of a compounder at a busy dispensary, or an ordinary clerk in a government office… The traffic hawaldar or a hawaldar in a local police chowki … The class teacher or the Principal of your child’s school… From a grocery-store owner to a temple priest, and from a bank clerk to a muttonwala … anybody and everybody, who has some power in his hand – yes, can get tempted to wield it… Power can be intoxicating… Dangerous! And, you and I, who have better things to do in life than getting into some silly ego-battles, often, let them get a kick out of their power-game, saying, “Kaam hone keliye, kabhi, kabhi, gadhe ko bhi baap banana padta he ji!” M y Post, today, is about this question:...

  “There are two kinds of weakness; that which breaks, and that which bends.” James Russell Lowell   A s many of you know, my livelihood doesn’t come from writing or blogging. It comes from teaching subjects - like Accountancy, Costing and Taxation -   to Commerce students. While teaching keeps my kitchen-fire burning, writing and blogging keep the fire in my soul burning. I love both… both are my ‘professions’, whether they bring me money or not. I perform both with equal ‘passion’. This morning, I was teaching a small group of junior-college students a chapter called ‘Non-profit Organizations’ (NPOs). I think, all of you (regardless of whether you have a Commerce or non-Commerce background) will be able to understand the very basic introduction to this chapter, which is given below: Introduction: 1.   A Non-profit Organization (NPO) is an organization whose main objective is not profit-making , but rendering service to its members. 2.   ...

  “Imperfections are not inadequacies. They are the reminders, that we’re all in this together.” Brene Brown   O ver the years, I have learnt to make peace with my imperfections. In fact, if I have developed in my heart, today, a deep feeling of worthiness – that is, being capable of loved and belonged and being capable of loving and belonging – it stems from this inner peace… “It’s okay to be imperfect; we all are!” That, in short, is the story of our self-esteem journey. Finding perfection in our imperfections! But, it is not an easy journey,   Sir. What I learnt, in the process of dealing with my own imperfections was, that the more and more I recognized them in me, the more and more I was able to accept them. Thus, the first roadblock along this journey is our refusal to see our imperfections, because of the blinders we tend to wear, the denial we choose to blanket our imperfections. Once I learnt to recognize my imperfections, the next thing needed ...

                                                     “Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin Dance me through the panic ‘til I’m gathered safely in” (From the song ‘Dance Me to the End of Love’ by Leonard Cohen)    T wo days ago, I saw some beautiful pictures shared by a friend of mine on FB. She was sharing with us the joyful moment of her son’s wedding. Like everyone else did, I, too, sent my greetings: “Congratulations! May the young couple grow closer and closer in love and stay blessed in married life.” On the same day, it was time to wish a very dear overseas-couple in our family. It was their 21 st wedding anniversary. I sent this song: “Many, many more years of ‘ Aur Ahista’ to both of you,” I wrote. What did I mean by ‘Many more years of ‘Aur Ahista’ ? O ne of the most painful things in a married life is to...