AHISTA... AUR AHISTA

     


                                              


“Dance me to your beauty

with a burning violin

Dance me through the panic

‘til I’m gathered safely in”

(From the song ‘Dance Me to the End of Love’ by Leonard Cohen) 

 

Two days ago, I saw some beautiful pictures shared by a friend of mine on FB. She was sharing with us the joyful moment of her son’s wedding. Like everyone else did, I, too, sent my greetings: “Congratulations! May the young couple grow closer and closer in love and stay blessed in married life.”

On the same day, it was time to wish a very dear overseas-couple in our family. It was their 21st wedding anniversary. I sent this song:




“Many, many more years of ‘Aur Ahista’ to both of you,” I wrote.

What did I mean by ‘Many more years of ‘Aur Ahista’?




One of the most painful things in a married life is to see the romance slowly and steadily wearing off! It’s just the opposite of how the romance springs in us –  slowly, gently and tenderly. The birth of romance and the death of romance, both, have these two extreme ironies associated with them. The death of romance, too, is, often, slow and steady, but rough and painful. I think, watching this phenomenon happen in our hearts helps… Perhaps, reliving those slow, gentle and tender moments can help us arrest this decay… Keep the romance alive in us!

I am not trying to be too romantic or idealistic in my thoughts, here. Just imagine, what makes us wish a newly-wed couple… And, what makes us wish a couple on completing 25 or 50 years of marriage. We know, the experience is not the same for these couples… We know it from our own experiences… The slow, gentle and tender feelings are just not there… Romance has left…

Ahista… aur ahista!  Yes, it’s gone the way it had come!

Not true?

I hope it’s so… 

Many of us have read this simple yet beautiful blog by Paulo Coelho. Let me present it as it is:


30 SEC READING: why do we shout in anger?

January 9, 2012 by Paulo Coelho









A master asked his disciples:
‘Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?’

the disciples thought for a while, and one of them said
‘Because we lose our calm, we shout for that.’
‘But, why to shout when the other person is just next to you? ‘Isn’t it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you’re angry?’
The disciples gave him some other answers but none satisfied the master.

Finally he explained:
‘When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance.’

Then the master asked:
‘What happens when two people fall in love? They don’t shout at each other but talk softly, why? Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small…’

And he concluded:
‘When they love each other even more, what happens?
‘They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love.

‘Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that’s all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.’



Did we speak softly and gently, once? Did we, often, just say nothing at all, yet spoke so much? And, then, did we notice the change over time – when we had to shout and  scream in anger, irritation and impatience?

Whatever happened to our romance – that amazing feeling of  ‘Ahista… aur ahista’ in our hearts?

Just asking…

 

GERALD D’CUNHA

 

Pic’s.: pixabay

Videos: 1. Pankaj Udhas 2. Leonard Cohen/Galina Marzy

 

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