AHISTA... AUR AHISTA
“Dance
me to your beauty
with a
burning violin
Dance
me through the panic
‘til
I’m gathered safely in”
(From
the song ‘Dance Me to the End of Love’ by Leonard Cohen)
Two days
ago, I saw some beautiful pictures shared by a friend of mine on FB. She was
sharing with us the joyful moment of her son’s wedding. Like everyone else did,
I, too, sent my greetings: “Congratulations! May the young couple grow closer
and closer in love and stay blessed in married life.”
On the same day, it was time
to wish a very dear overseas-couple in our family. It was their 21st
wedding anniversary. I sent this song:
“Many, many more years of ‘Aur
Ahista’ to both of you,” I wrote.
What did I mean by ‘Many more
years of ‘Aur Ahista’?
One of the most painful things in a married life is to see the romance slowly and steadily wearing off! It’s just the opposite of how the romance springs in us – slowly, gently and tenderly. The birth of romance and the death of romance, both, have these two extreme ironies associated with them. The death of romance, too, is, often, slow and steady, but rough and painful. I think, watching this phenomenon happen in our hearts helps… Perhaps, reliving those slow, gentle and tender moments can help us arrest this decay… Keep the romance alive in us!
I am not trying to be too
romantic or idealistic in my thoughts, here. Just imagine, what makes us wish a
newly-wed couple… And, what makes us wish a couple on completing 25 or 50 years
of marriage. We know, the experience is not the same for these couples… We know
it from our own experiences… The slow, gentle and tender feelings are just not
there… Romance has left…
Ahista… aur ahista! Yes, it’s gone the way it had come!
Not true?
I hope it’s so…
Many of us have read this simple yet beautiful blog by Paulo Coelho. Let me present it as it is:
30 SEC READING: why do
we shout in anger?
January 9, 2012 by Paulo Coelho
A master asked his disciples:
‘Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are
upset?’
the disciples thought for a while, and one of
them said
‘Because we lose our calm, we shout for that.’
‘But, why to shout when the other person is just next to you? ‘Isn’t it
possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person
when you’re angry?’
The disciples gave him some other answers but none satisfied the master.
Finally he explained:
‘When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover
that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they
are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great
distance.’
Then the master asked:
‘What happens when two people fall in love? They don’t shout at each other but
talk softly, why? Because their hearts are very close. The distance between
them is very small…’
And he concluded:
‘When they love each other even more, what happens?
‘They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in
their love.
‘Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that’s all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.’
Did we
speak softly and gently, once? Did we, often, just say nothing at all, yet
spoke so much? And, then, did we notice the change over time – when we had to
shout and scream in anger, irritation
and impatience?
Whatever happened to our
romance – that amazing feeling of ‘Ahista…
aur ahista’ in our hearts?
Just asking…
GERALD D’CUNHA
Pic’s.: pixabay
Videos: 1. Pankaj Udhas 2. Leonard Cohen/Galina Marzy
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