ON GROWING UP AND NOT GIVING UP

 


“Everyone thinks  you  make mistakes

when you’re young.

But, I don’t think we make any fewer

when we’re grown up.”

Jodi Picoult

 

We are five brothers. I am the second one. The third one passed away recently. This morning, the four of us were having a conference call. The eldest brother joined from our hometown, Mangalore. The fourth brother joined from Kuwait. I and the last one joined from Mumbai and Navi Mumbai respectively. We discussed many things. The major discussion revolved around our mom’s old age and well-being. As she lives with my eldest brother, we had to be more empathetic towards him and his wife for taking care of our mom for years. Now that she is old and not in good health. We discussed, today, as to how we brothers, together, could make the final years of our mom less lonely for her and less stressful for my eldest brother’s family…

An interesting thing we did, today, during our discussion… We  shared some of our memories – mostly when our mom showed incredible patience, love and care when each one of us had faltered… It could be when she was called by the Headmaster/Principal on some of our blunders, or it could be when we got involved with some rebellious activates… Or, it could be some of our habits, fights, money-matters, whatever. Mom would face the brunt on our behalf and bail us out… Despite our huge flaws (including that of our deceased brother), our mom accepted all of us under her fold… She had faith in us… She, like all mothers, spent her energetic years on making us men from boys…

Yes, today, we refreshed our memories… Just to sensitize ourselves and ask this: “Did our mom give up on us when we had frustrated her?”

And, what about now - “Are we giving up on our mom in our frustration?”




Incidentally, this morning, a young mother of a 17-year-old boy was voicing her anxiety with me. He is their only son and the parents feel the helplessness. He frustrates them; he frustrates his teachers (including me). She wrote this, today:

“Sir, I hope you are not upset with me and my husband. Every single day, we talk to him and explain. We are so helpless.”

I replied: “Ma’am, I can fully understand that helplessness. I am not at all upset with you parents. Yes, I feel upset about the attitude of the young man. But, then, these things are a part of growing up… not just for him, but for his parents and teachers as well. So, let’s not give up on him, however frustrating it may seem.”




In another group of students, while ending the online session, today, I asked: “How’re you all feeling during the lockdown? Are you frustrated? Do you feel excited about your studies, or do you feel like giving up?”

“Sir, to be honest, we feel frustrated and feel like giving up.” This was the general consensus. To argue with this reality was like living in a denial…

 What is… Is!

All that I could manage to tell this group of youngsters was… “Don’t give up, no matter how bleak it looks outside… Yes, it’s dark outside. But, we have a choice to see the stars in the distant skies… Don’t give up on yourself, my young friends.”

Three things happened today… All seem perfectly connected!

 

GERALD D’CUNHA

 

Pic’s: 1. pixabay/Rodolfo Clix 2. luizclas

 

Video: Josh Groban

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