FEAR AND SHAME, ALWAYS, HOLD US BACK

 



“Imperfections are not inadequacies.

They are the reminders, that we’re all in this together.”

Brene Brown

 

Over the years, I have learnt to make peace with my imperfections. In fact, if I have developed in my heart, today, a deep feeling of worthiness – that is, being capable of loved and belonged and being capable of loving and belonging – it stems from this inner peace… “It’s okay to be imperfect; we all are!”

That, in short, is the story of our self-esteem journey. Finding perfection in our imperfections!

But, it is not an easy journey,  Sir.

What I learnt, in the process of dealing with my own imperfections was, that the more and more I recognized them in me, the more and more I was able to accept them.

Thus, the first roadblock along this journey is our refusal to see our imperfections, because of the blinders we tend to wear, the denial we choose to blanket our imperfections.

Once I learnt to recognize my imperfections, the next thing needed from my end was to be kind to myself. Unless I was kind to myself, it was difficult for me to open up – seek help from others.




Fear and shame, always, hold us back. Opening our hearts before someone means making ourselves vulnerable, you see!

I did not know the power of vulnerability for a very long time. Opening up did not come to me easily. But, over time, I realized, that to open up – to reveal myself – called for my true honesty and courage. And, I, also, learnt, that to dissolve my fear and shame and replace them with faith and peace – the only way left was to open my heart.




There is tremendous healing power in being vulnerable. The more we reveal ourselves –  seek help, forgiveness, express our anxiety, let know our needs and let go our rigidity – yes, the more we do it, the better we feel about ourselves… We feel accepted, worthy and peaceful… Strong!

“The goal is not to show how great you are to others,” says Maxime Lagase, “but how vulnerable you are to yourself.” Let me rest my case with this pearl of wisdom.

 

GERALD D’CUNHA

 

Pic’s: pixabay

 

Video: Brene Brown/Sounds True

 

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