FEAR AND SHAME, ALWAYS, HOLD US BACK

 



“Imperfections are not inadequacies.

They are the reminders, that we’re all in this together.”

Brene Brown

 

Over the years, I have learnt to make peace with my imperfections. In fact, if I have developed in my heart, today, a deep feeling of worthiness – that is, being capable of loved and belonged and being capable of loving and belonging – it stems from this inner peace… “It’s okay to be imperfect; we all are!”

That, in short, is the story of our self-esteem journey. Finding perfection in our imperfections!

But, it is not an easy journey,  Sir.

What I learnt, in the process of dealing with my own imperfections was, that the more and more I recognized them in me, the more and more I was able to accept them.

Thus, the first roadblock along this journey is our refusal to see our imperfections, because of the blinders we tend to wear, the denial we choose to blanket our imperfections.

Once I learnt to recognize my imperfections, the next thing needed from my end was to be kind to myself. Unless I was kind to myself, it was difficult for me to open up – seek help from others.




Fear and shame, always, hold us back. Opening our hearts before someone means making ourselves vulnerable, you see!

I did not know the power of vulnerability for a very long time. Opening up did not come to me easily. But, over time, I realized, that to open up – to reveal myself – called for my true honesty and courage. And, I, also, learnt, that to dissolve my fear and shame and replace them with faith and peace – the only way left was to open my heart.




There is tremendous healing power in being vulnerable. The more we reveal ourselves –  seek help, forgiveness, express our anxiety, let know our needs and let go our rigidity – yes, the more we do it, the better we feel about ourselves… We feel accepted, worthy and peaceful… Strong!

“The goal is not to show how great you are to others,” says Maxime Lagase, “but how vulnerable you are to yourself.” Let me rest my case with this pearl of wisdom.

 

GERALD D’CUNHA

 

Pic’s: pixabay

 

Video: Brene Brown/Sounds True

 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

MUTHU KODI KAWARI HADA

Image
Pic.; Ashwin Mohta M y Hindi was always bad. It still is. One reason for this was, that they introduced Hindi for us only in 6 th standard. Or, was it in 8 th ? I don’t remember… I only remember struggling to write and read… leave alone speak! But, I loved Hindi movies, and, strangely, I could understand the dialogues and the lyrics of the songs… I used to sing those songs (of course when no one was around me!) as if I was the lyricist… One of the songs was a very funny one. ‘Muthu Kodi Kawari Hada’. It was from Mehmood’s super-hit comedy – ‘Do Phool’. I was a 15-year-old high-school boy when I had heard that song (not watched the movie). I could grasp the meaning of two words – ‘Muthu Kodi’… which meant ‘Give kiss’… But, what ‘Kawari Hada’ meant, I have no clue till date! It was just like ‘Why this kolaveri di’... Yes, why ask? Simply enjoy the beats… And, the beats are great… The rest... Who cares? Really! So, whatever bit of Hi...
Read more

SELLING MIRRORS IN THE CITY OF THE BLIND

Image
“I laugh when I hear that the fish in the water is thirsty. I laugh when I hear that people go on pilgrimage to find God.” - Kabir T here is a universal human weakness – and it dates back to the days of fallen civilizations – and it is: to place people on pedestal and trying to be smothered by them, feel loved and protected in their company… worship them as mentors, heroes,  gurus, Mahagurus and Satgurus… Make these mortals larger-than-life cut-outs, worship them as flawless, pure and give one’s all… And, then, ‘take’ everything from them blindly as divine… Give everything to them blindly… Eventually, what happens is:  one more dangerous bondage… What was supposed to free you now becomes a new prison… It’s sad to see this happen! T his room, where I am writing this Post, has no image of any deity. I have no image of any Guru or Master around me… My question is: “Am I not able to feel close to Almighty God?  How ...
Read more

"HAPPILY EVER AFTER IS NOT A FAIRY-TALE... IT IS A CHOICE"

Image
“Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone… It has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new.” – Ursula K. Le Guin,  The Lathe of Heaven T welve years ago, when Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie got married, the world began to hail the couple as ‘Brangelina’. It became a fashion for couples around us to call themselves so… Norbert and Teresa renamed them as ‘Noresa’…  Amol and Vishaka baptized their relationship as ‘Amoshka’… and, Salman and Nargis became ‘Salgis’! I and my wife, too, got tempted to re-christian our matrimonial relationship as ‘Germa’... That is, Gerald and Anima, to be precise! B efore I proceed any further, let me make it very clear, here… that, I have no business to judge on the break-up of Brad Pitt and Angelina’ Jolie’s marriage. I have no inclination to go into why, how, what when etc behind it… The couple ‘chose’ to split. And, it’s their choice… Only they know how good or bad… how joyful or pain...
Read more
THE WILD, WAYSIDE FLOWERS
There is, always, something extra-ordinary in the wild, wayside flowers...