I NEED YOU LIKE A HEART NEEDS A BEAT
“In
the end, we discover that to love and let go
can be
the same thing.”
Jack Cornfield
Bill
Gates and Melinda Gates have been my favourite people. I am sure, most of you
will say the same thing. So, when I heard the news about their divorce, I felt
really sad. This was their joint statement making their painful announcement:
“After a great deal of thought
and a lot of work on our relationship, we have made the decision to end our
marriage. Over the last 27 years of our marriage, we have raised three
incredible children, and built a foundation that works all over the world to
enable all people to lead a healthy, productive life. We continue to share a belief
in that mission and will continue to work together at the foundation, but we no
longer believe that we can grow together as a couple in this next phase of our
lives. We ask for space and privacy for
our family as we begin to navigate this new life.”
Melinda
Gates and Bill Gates
We need to pay attention to their appeal at the end of their
joint statement:
“We ask for space and privacy
for our family as we begin to navigate this new life.”
So, I will not make any more comment
about Bill and Melinda in this Blog. They may be super-rich and super-philanthropists.
But, let’s not forget the fact, that they, too, are simple human beings and a couple like the rest of us. So, what is private to you and me is private to
them, too. We are no ones to judge them. May them find love and growth in their
new phase of lives as they have sought to… After all, life doesn’t end with a divorce…
Only a marriage does!
On 11th
of this month, my wife and I will be completing thirty years of our marriage.
Around the same time, my in-laws will be completing fifty-five years of their
marriage. My mom, who is 85, has been a widow for nearly thirty-eight years… Some
of my dear ones have ended their marriage with in months after they tied their
knots… And, some of my dearest people
have never tied the knot at all!. So, I dare not make any comment about other
people’s decisions in their lives. Happiness in life and a long-standing
marriage need not be related. Sometimes, it seems wise to break apart in order
to find love and growth in life. Sometimes, it seems wise to stick together in
order to find love and growth. And, yes, sometimes, it seems wise to stay alone
in order to find love and growth in life…
“Better to have loved and lost
than to have never loved at all.” When St. Augustine says this, is he referring
to ‘Love in life’ or ‘Love in marriage’?
After thirty years, if I thump
my chest and claim - ‘Happily married for thirty years’, I am sure, no married soul
on earth would believe it. But, if I bow my head and say, ‘Thirty years of
married life – and still working it out’, yes, perhaps, they may believe me…
I think, all that we do to
stay long-married is to ‘work it out’… Constantly strive to love and let go,
fight and forgive, to see our differences and learn to respect and celebrate them… 'To stand alone like the strings of a lute and stand apart like the pillars of a temple’ as Kahlil
Gibran says, so beautifully…
Oh, that sacred space in togetherness!
Oh, that forbearance!
Lucky in marriage - we may not
be. But, lucky in life - we should be.
I think.
GERALD D’CUNHA
Pic’s.: pixabay
Video: Romantic Nostalgia
Comments
btw Congratulations on your anniversary and wishing you many more to come.