MY FRIEND'S FRIEND WAS MY FRIEND, TOO

 

“Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration;

the rest of us get up and go to work.”

Stephen King

 

We do not know how long we are going to live in this world. Still, all of us want to live a long and healthy life. But, whether we live a  short life or a long life - how does it matter, unless that life is a ‘productive’ one?

Now, I do not want to discuss here on what is meant by a ‘productive’ life… Suffice it to say this: If our stay on this earth has helped, impacted, inspired people around us, I think, it’s a productive life. Else, it’s just a ‘long life’… just a number. Yes, we ‘existed’. That’s all.

Joe Gonsalves, who passed away on Sunday due to Covid, in my hometown Mangalore, would have completed 100 years had he lived for another four months or so. But, his 99 years and 8 months on this earth was not a mere number… It’s an eventful, inspiring and humbling journey. If we ever wanted to know what's the meaning of the expression - ‘To die with one’s boots on’… or ‘To die still planting one’s cabbages’… we have to pause and look at Joe Gonsalves’s life!

Joe Gonsalves died with his boots on… He died still planting his cabbages… He ‘lived’ well before he died… Not just ‘existed’.

 

Every time I visited Mangalore, my closest friend Joe D’Silva (65) would, always, talk about his first Boss – Joe Gonsalves. “Gerry, I will take you to his house… He is a living Legend,” my friend would tell me. But, it remained only a ‘wish’… Now, on Legend’s death, that unfulfilled wish has turned into a ‘regret’…

I regret not meeting my friend’s friend… So, let me find solace in claiming this: ‘My friend’s friend was my friend, too’!

Joe Gonsalves, my friend Joe D’ Silva and I – we all were blessed to be the products of St. Aloysius College, the famed Jesuit institution in Mangalore. Joe Gonsalves had further dawned a Master’s degree in Marketing from London… He had spent several decades heading top-level corporate positions, both abroad and in India. Back in our hometown, Mangalore, he was associated actively with several educational and philanthropic causes… and, the most inspiring of them all – was his dashing role as the Chief Traffic Warden in Mangalore…Yes, imagine this lean, erect 97–98-year-old man in his impeccable khaki uniform dealing with the ‘crazy’ – and ‘unruly’ – traffic at the hotspot of Mangalore city! His alert and agile presence out there would end up inspiring an entire young-generation… It would, also, put them to shame!

Joe Gonsalves was a fitness freak… A yoga enthusiast. He would visit various educational and other organizations in order to spread awareness about keeping oneself healthy and productive in life. Importantly, he would emphasize on the importance of civic sense and duty towards society… He never returned without leaving his imprints on young minds!

After the death of his wife Irene – who was his partner for 66 years – he lived alone in his house in Valencia, Mangalore. Self-discipline was his most loyal companion till his last day… Each day he woke up with a purpose beyond himself… sought grace and strength at the morning Mass… Each night he said a Rosary with a friend… and went off to sleep with a grateful heart…

My friend Joe D’Silva (65) was heart-broken yesterday. “Gerry, I lost a dear friend.” Imagine calling an almost 100-year-old man your dear friend! “He was my first Boss… I would visit him every ten days… He had interesting stories to tell… inspiring ideas to implement… He  saved scores of troubled marriages through his counselling…” my friend Joe had so much to say about his departed friend, Joe!

Hundreds of Joe Gonsalves’ admirers attended the funeral service, yesterday. The Covid protocol had deprived thousands of them from being there at the revered Milagres shrine at the heart of Mangalore city. But, all of them – all over the globe – could pay their last resect through live streaming… My friend Joe helped me join the Legend’s  final journey through this medium…

Joe Gonsalves not only died with his boots on… He died with his Cap on, too… Sir Edmund Hillary famously said, “It’s not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves.”

That’s the mountain Joe Gonsalves conquered… That’s why he inspires us…  

“Live on… O Captain, My Captain… My friend’s friend!

 

GERALD D’CUNHA

Pic’s: 1. mangaloretoday.com 2.  mangalorean.com 3. pixabay

Video: 1. NDTV 2. Gerry Pacemakers