Friday, October 21, 2011

THE WIND BENEATH MY WINGS...


The first thing I have been doing these days, the moment I step into my office, is to visit my own blog… Read, edit, write or comment. 

There are days – in fact, months – I may not touch my blog. And, there are days, like now, I just can’t live and breathe without it. 

But, then, why do I do it? I get no money by all this. I get no mileage through any publicity. Though I have lots of my well-wishers, who keep reading what I write, they  (Like I my self do for others) don’t send any comments… And, I do not have any cheerleaders at home to pump me to go on. Still, every morning, and sometimes for long hours, I keep being by myself… by my blog.

Long before this blog thing came about, I would keep doing the same on my diaries… on old envelopes, on torn sheets… I would write the same way… But, I don’t remember writing them for any one or for any thing. I would just keep writing… and for years on. I have dozens of those diaries and hundreds of such sheets and envelopes. 

Yes, sometimes, when I do all this, I forget my hunger, I forget my sleep. I even forget to pay my bills!

They say, any thing that you do without being told – and do it without caring for money, fame or position – is your calling in life, your vocation. How, true! There are so many things in my life, I just do reluctantly… just because of some compulsions… and I know how I feel doing them, what kind of quality it wears… and, what it does to my self-esteem. I may console myself justifying that ‘I have to do them, any way.” But, that doesn’t change the way I feel about myself.

Just two days ago, one of my very dear students so lovingly sent this message: 

“Sir, I loved what you wrote, today.
It was so amazing.
I keep wondering how do you do it,
again and again, every day… But, you do it!
Sir, never ever stop writing.
We need them… I need them.
Thank you for being there.”

  
 It was late night. Some one was going to bed touched by what I had written that day. And, I was
going to bed touched by that satisfaction, that joy.

If the first thing I do when I start my day can make me so peaceful when I end my day, then, I 
should keep doing what I do. 

Thank you dear, for being there!


GERALD D'CUNHA

2 comments:

Girish Dhameja said...

You see, you think, you feel, you experience, you visualize, you write. we read, we learn, we accept, we experience, we try to improve.

Once you only have said that you feel like doing something do it for you, do it for your soul.
Pray to almighty the river of Mr D'cunha should always flow and we all should drink from that river merrily. Thank you for always being there and giving us strength.

Gerald D'Cunha said...

Oh yes, Girish,

Do keep praying that this river will not dry up!

I love u all... and I would write these posts for u all...

The shore is there because there is river... and the river is there because there is shore!

Thanks, Sir