Thursday, October 27, 2011


I blame… I do it regularly. And, sometimes, I do it till the point I get completely exhausted… till it leaves me high and dry, as they say. It only makes the situation worse… Makes me feel bad about my own self… and, then, I blame myself: “Why did I do it?”

Blame is a game. And, this game doesn’t help. Neither me, nor the other person… nor the situation. 

It is an utter waste.

I know it; still I do it. Maybe, I do it not as often as I used to do, once. But, I do… I do blame.

The interesting part of it is this: whenever some people come to me after going through a heavy dose of this blame game – yes, when they come to me to ‘talk it out’ – I feel like telling them what Gandhiji had told that child’s mother, one day. The woman had gone to the noble man for seeking help. Her child ate a lot of jaggery and she wanted the Mahatma to convince her child to put an end to it. After listening to the woman’s problem, Gandhiji had asked her to see him after  fifteen days. “Bapu, why did you take such a long time to solve such a small problem?” Later, that lady had asked Gandhiji. “Because, my dear woman," Gandhiji had answered, "I wanted that time to first put an end to my own jaggery-eating habit!”

“Hello,” I tell these people who seek my help to put an end to their ‘blaming problem’, “You have come to a wrong person.” Then, I tell them the Gandhiji story. They smile… “Even the Mahatma ate jaggery… Even he took fifteen days to stop that habit!”

So, it is okay to play the blame game, sometimes. It is okay to ‘steal’ that jaggery and eat without being caught. It is okay to be such a Mahatma… who tried his best and hard to overcome his own flaws in life.

I am 53, now. I still blame…

And, I still help those who are left high and dry after playing this game.



Anonymous said...

Thank you sir, for this brilliant post.

I felt very relieved after reading this article by you. I felt I am not alone!

Thanks again.


Gerald D'Cunha said...

Hi Varun,

Yes, you are not alone... We all are in the same boat - when it comes to our blaming or jaggery-eating habits.

So, chill!


arnab said...

I did not know that blaming could be such an interesting - and enriching - game!

Here is the 'Champion Blamer'!

My sincere appreciation and gratitude, to you, Mr. Gerald.

Looking forward for reading more of such posts.

Gerald D'Cunha said...

Oh yes, Arnab, Blaming IS such an interesting - and enriching - game that we all play.

I am no less a Champion!

Thank u for your response.



Dr Dee said...

Thought provoking and consoling at the same time....
Blaming as reflex is a blind spot, Blaming with intention to blame is deeper,darker and a difficult situation to come out of without damage to self.The sweet jaggery of Blame is very addictive .

Gerald D'Cunha said...

Now, this is a pleasant surprise, Dr. Deepak!

I loved your feed back. I felt the touch of a psychiatrist/Counselor in it... which u are, sir!

So, we all are going to blog together; aren't we?

I am looking forward to see u, tmro.